Swamp Eyes
by OwlishEyesAndAvidQuill
Summary: Mello's ambitions to impress L are pushed aside when a mysterious teen enters his life. She's shocking, she's scary - and she knows something about L... Come back, Matt! Mello needs you! Some coarse language and plot twists. Set before Kira's time. Hope you enjoy it!
1. Chapter 1: Freak Show

**Authors's Note (and not the Note you're thinking of, lol):**

Hey there, guys. It's OwlishEyesAndAvidQuill here! :) Pleased to meet you, welcome to the world of Death Note and Swamp Eyes. Constructive criticism is of course always welcome, though please go easy because this is my first attempt at a proper FanFiction and I don't have a Beta reader (i.e I do my own editing). I know, there's no romances going on at the moment as you could probably tell from the description, but that may very well change (though I still have to get the plot going first). It starts off with our lovely little chocolate-eating blonde bomshell (you could probably tell he's one of my personal favourites :D) with Chapter 1: Freak Show. Enjoy and review, please!

* * *

**CHAPTER 1: FREAK SHOW**

MELLO'S POV:

A lonely Mello's stomach twisted into apprehensive knots as he leaned against the dull-white wall, the forgotten chocolate bar in his left hand beginning to melt. Pathetic fallacy was present outside of the narrow window Mello was facing. The sky was grey, and it was raining steadily, making a mess of the football field. L was visiting Wammy's House. It was a rare occurrence for the orphanage, and kind of a special occasion. _Dammit_, Mello thought, _I should be __**happy**_. _I don't know what's gotten into me…_

It was true – throughout the years growing up as a Wammy's boy, L's visits to his successors had been highlights of Mello's life. He always enjoyed just catching a glimpse of him, just feeling his quiet, understated presence in a room. Mello wanted to please L – he wanted to become his successor. _Though of course_, Mello thought bitterly, _the gap between me and Near is getting wider every day_…

He needed Matt right now – but Matt was on one of those trips ran by the tecchie club. He was currently in Tokyo, testing new computer gaming prototypes. Matt hadn't known L was coming to visit – if he had, he probably would've stayed at Wammy's with his best friend. Even the lure of the hallowed gaming world was weaker than the calling of their idol.

Mello's sombre musings were interrupted by the sight of Roger bustling down the corridor.

"Mello!" he called out. Mello tilted his head up slightly in acknowledgment and grunted in the way of a greeting. He didn't really have the time to be nagged by Roger just because of some insignificant, trivial thing. Roger's impossibly tedious voice was tuned out by Mello's practiced ears, becoming a mere irritating buzz instead of a full-scale auditory war. Mello's thoughts were merging to form a heavy weight in his chocolate-filled stomach. Three words sprang to his mind – _fear of rejection_.

"Mello! Are you even listening to me?" Roger tapped his young ward on the shoulder, forcing a reluctant Mello to face him. "Honestly," Roger sighed, "sometimes I think you live out your entire life with your head in the clouds! _As I was saying_, L can't visit us because of how busy it's going to be today and –"

"WHAT?" a shocked Mello gasped. "After all of that build-up, _we don't even get to see L_?" Mello felt hurt and cheated. He had few chances to prove to L that having the best grades weren't everything. Now one of those precious chances had been cruelly snatched away from him…

"– Mello, _please let me finish_! Today is the last day he's going to be in Winchester, so we probably won't see him for another month. We've got a new arrival coming into Wammy's today. I can't seem to find Near, Matt's away, and, well –" Roger stopped mid-flow, and cleared his throat delicately before continuing. "In short, the other students may be, well, _uncomfortable _in her (_HER_? Thought Mello) presence. I know you understand children are brought up in violent situations, and you've heard the stories of the Los Angeles murder cases –"

" – wait a minute, you don't think we've got another BB on our hands, do you?" Mello asked uneasily. He was upset by the news of L's cancelled appearance – but a new Beyond birthday was even harder to stomach.

"No, of course not," Roger answered. "But I'd appreciate it if you'd keep her in check – nudge her in the right direction, onto the straight and the narrow and all that. She's rather hot-headed like yourself.

"Typically, I'd have someone more patient deal with her, but you've both had more turbulent upbringings than the others. Who knows, you two might share a connection and end up friends just like you and Matt."

Mello severely doubted this (and he was _so_ not hot-headed!) but decided to hold his tongue. The crushing misery of not being able to prove himself to L was almost too much to bear. He needed to be alone right now…

"Mello, where are you going?" an oh-so-irritating Roger enquired, grasping Mello's shoulder to prevent his departure. Mello stared stonily up at his mentor, exuding a vengeful, stormy silence. "She's arriving any minute!" Roger continued. "If you're going to be taking her under your wing, you could at least have the decency to say hello!"

Mello felt like yelling at Roger – but settled for a rant that only himself could hear, because it took place inside his own head. _I didn't agree to any of this, Roger! Can't you see that?_ He had been doing this a lot lately – no-one (except Matt) ever seemed to care what he had to say, so why bother saying it out loud? He only got into trouble for saying things that were apparently "out of order". Well, _screw them_. Screw them all.

* * *

A car pulled up onto the drive of Wammy's House. Mello stepped outside, Roger's thin, paper-white hand on his shoulder steering him, waiting to mutter a quick "hey" to the new kid before disappearing to the sanctuary of his room for an eternity or five. The heavy rain had now subsided to a gentle patter. _This is the calm before the storm_, thought Mello. _Because this particular freak show's gaining a new addition today_.

Roger left Mello's side to get a closer look at the new student and despite himself, Mello followed suit. Someone who'd freaked out Roger had _got_ to be worth a brief glimpse.

A young woman in a navy-pinstripe skirt-suit stepped out of the car, her shiny brunette ponytail flicking back and forth, her expensive, charcoal-black high heels enduring the full hell of their muddy surroundings. Mello blinked, and shook his head. This wasn't the female head-case they were talking about.

The young woman, her pale face suddenly pinched and serious, opened the car door opposite to the one she had just stepped out from – and there, waiting to depart the vehicle, was a sight that made Mello's heart stop beating.

It truly was gruesome.

Blood covered almost every inch of the teenage girl. It was matted into her hair (the blood was so thick that Mello couldn't even decipher the colour of her wild tresses), spattered across her muddy clothes, congealing on over half of her battered, grimy face. But she didn't seem concerned about her own appearance – in fact, she seemed extraordinarily uninterested in the world around her, like she was in a faraway land of her own. She suddenly snapped out of her stupor and looked at the young woman in the suit with baleful, peculiar green eyes.

"Okay, Jennie," the new girl sighed, "you don't need to be so… so _tense_ around me. You should take your job less seriously. I'm not going to _bite_ you…" To a shocked Mello's extreme surprise, the blood-stained teen smiled, flashing her brilliant white teeth.

"…well, I'm not making any promises," she finished. In a sudden blur of movement, she grabbed the woman named Jennie's arm with a surprising grip. "Don't think I won't forget how you locked me away," she hissed, her lip curling. Several agonising moments passed before a pompous Roger remembered himself and his position.

"S! That's no way to treat a superior!" Roger fumed.

He pulled the new girl's arm away from Jennie. "You should know by now that you should call her Miss Bright, _not_ Jennie," he continued, his stern eyes flashing. The scary new arrival simply smiled again, her own eyes dull and dead.

Mello gulped. Roger was _seriously_ suggesting that he dealt with this… this _lunatic_?

"Well, I guess I'd better let you settle in," muttered a brisk Jennie Bright as she brushed herself off, obviously trying to deal with the shock of the head-case's sudden turn.

"Off you go, then," Roger ordered, (honestly, the man was _insane_ if he thought Mello and the new girl were going to get along) gently pushing the female adolescent closer and closer to Mello. "Show her around, Mello. Point her to the bathroom so she can clean up and then show her to the dining hall. She needs some rest too, she looks dead on her feet."

"We're going to be _best friends_," she declared, the inane grin lurking at the corners of her mouth once more. Mello shook his head.

_No. Freaking. Way._

* * *

**Author's Note: **Till next time, folks! Hope y'all enjoyed it! Please review (I don't want to sound desperate but I'd love to hear all of your opinions) :)


	2. Chapter 2: Anomaly

**Author's Note: **So, this is my second upload. Hope you enjoy it. Sorry about the pace of this story, I know it's going a tad slowly but I promise, the next chapter will have some wit and charm with appearances from our favourite Whammy's Boys (I just hope my writing skills are up to scratch). I'll hand you over to Mello again, and don't forget to review and add suggestions for how you want this to go (I've got the general idea, but I'd love some input).

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**CHAPTER 2: ANOMALY**

MELLO'S POV:

"No freaking way," Mello growled. "If you think I'm going to trail around after that physco, Roger, you can forget it." He lent against the wall of Roger's bleak and depressing office, his breathing heavy, his stomach turning at the thought of a second encounter with the new arrival. She was out there, somewhere… Roger had sent her to take a bath. Mello sincerely hoped she'd avoided all sharp objects on the way there.

"Now, now, Mello," Roger chastised. "There's no need to be so cruel with what you label her as. She hasn't slept in two days, but they couldn't get her to rest at the safe house she was put into. Jen - I mean, _Miss Bright_ had particular trouble while caring for her. In fact, the vulnerable teen is functioning remarkably well, considering what she's been through..." Roger gave another of his delicate coughs. When he began to continue, his eagle eyes were a little softer than they had been previously. "As I was saying, she's rather fragile at the moment. We're not quite sure what's going on in her mind right now, to be honest…"

"Get her some help, then, and quick, before she butchers us all!" Mello remarked. He really wasn't in a particularly tolerant mood today.

"Mello, there's no need to be so insensitive about it!" Roger reasoned. "L knows S personally, and has deemed her perfectly sane."

"Then _L's _losing it too – wait a minute, did you just call her S?" Mello gasped. "She's barely been here two minutes and she's already got _letter_ status?" He'd heard the new girl being referred to S before, but he'd thought he'd just misheard Roger…

"You are correct," Roger answered firmly. "This is for her own personal protection, however, not because she is in line to inherit L's title."

"So – so she won't be an heir?" Mello speculated, now more to himself than to Roger. "But – she's here, and from what you've told me, she hasn't got anywhere else to go." He turned to Roger again. "No offence, Roger, but that's a little sexist. We barely know anything about her – she could even be smarter than Near!"

"Ah – so you're feeling empathy for the poor young girl, now, Mello?" Roger enquired, his eyes twinkling in an annoying "I proved you wrong" sort of way.

Mello lapsed into silence, frustrated with himself. "You're quite right," Roger continued, "in thinking that we haven't tested her intellectual ability just yet. This is not because she is a girl – I don't know how you jumped to that conclusion, we're ready to give her a home if she wants it. Besides, from what L's told me, she's extremely bright and, um, a joy to teach. I'm sure after she's had some rest, S will be able to tell us more about herself.

"We're still not quite sure how she got into the state she's in, and L told us not to pry into her previous life too much. But I think it would be good for her to at least choose a more friendly alias instead of letter. It might help her to get better acquainted with others."

His wrinkled face suddenly became even more solemn than usual. "She's not a liability, Mello, no matter how she acts," he sighed. "She's a human being, like all of us, and, like all of us, she needs some friends to get along with."

Mello started to feel a little guilty because of how he'd inwardly reacted towards her. He knew what it was like to be on the outside, always looking in but never getting attention. And yet still, he had more friends than that brat Near. He had Matt. S… well, she had _no-one_.

"Okay," Mello conceded. "I – I mean, I guess I could at least show her around, but _this still doesn't mean I like her_!" He didn't like the way Roger was looking at him with that rare, irritating grin now lurking at the corners of his snake-lips. He didn't like the way he was calm and genial, not at all his usual grumpy self. And then it hit him, like a double-decker bus squarely in the chest.

_Crap_.

"Roger – please, _please_ tell me that you're joking," Mello hissed.

"What about?" Roger asked innocently. _Too innocently_, thought Mello.

"_Come on, Roger, out with it_!" Mello snarled. "Is this – is this some sort of –" Mello shuddered. "Is this some sort of genius breeding experiment, 'cause I'm certainly not going to be your guinea pig!" There, he'd said it. Oh, god, he'd just said it out loud. And _oh, god,_ he was beginning to blush_._ "L-look, Roger," he backtracked, "It's just… I know people don't want me to L's successor, and maybe you thought that someone could… occupy me so Near could go on to be L."

His resolve strengthened, and he drew himself up to full height (instead of his usual slouch when he was trying to get adults to _leave him alone for once_) before continuing. "Because I won't be toyed with, and you shouldn't mess her around either, it's uncalled for!"

He hadn't wanted to say it, but it had had to be said. There was no other way around it. Mello wasn't being vain or pretentious, nor was he trying to insult S… but Roger could be manipulative. There was no telling what he was planning to do next…

"I have never heard anything so ridiculous in all my life," Roger stated simply. "I hope this isn't too embarrassing for you to handle right now, but the notion of a, and I quote, "_breeding_ experiment" had never entered my mind. Now run along before your mouth gets you into any more trouble, my lad."

Mello still wasn't convinced. Why was Roger being so courteous to him all of a sudden? Mello had expected punishment for back chatting his guardian. And he certainly wasn't _Roger's lad_. Cheeks still flaring, Mello decided to go and find S. Maybe there was a bit of normality in her after all…

* * *

"S?" Mello enquired at the door.

He could hear the water in the bathtub sloshing around. There seemed to be a substantial amount of it – so much that it could possibly slop over the tub's cracked, dull-white sides.

Silence.

"Erm – are you okay, S?" Mello asked uneasily.

"Fine," the bored yet compelling voice of S answered from within the depths of the bathroom. "You can come in, you know; I don't _really_ bite. It's just that Jennie was getting on my nerves a little." S's laugh echoed around the long, narrow room. It was eerily childlike, and made the hairs on the back of Mello's neck stand to attention.

"Honestly, come on in," S urged. "You won't be able to see me, if that's what you're thinking. Such a gentleman," she giggled. "Oh, isn't this _fun_!" Mello blinked, a heavy weight sinking in the pit of his stomach.

No matter what Roger _or _L said, there was certainly _something_ not quite right about S. He didn't know exactly why, but she wasn't quite… natural. She was completely unexpected. Yes, that was a good way to describe her. She turned up unexpectedly, arrived in an unexpected state, behaved unexpectedly… the girl truly was an anomaly.

"Come on, Blondie," S persisted, snapping Mello out of his reflective state. "Don't be shy… I don't have a towel, anyway, so would you mind passing me one on your way over to me?"

_Blondie_? No way.

"Fine, I'm coming in, so you'd better have some clothes on," Mello growled, grabbing a towel from the banister of the landing. A shocking sight met his eyes as he sauntered through the battered doorway.

S lay up to her neck in the bathtub, skin stark and bone-white against the backdrop of the scarlet pool. S had been right. He couldn't see anything that lay beneath the bloody waters… it was opaque…

S's eyes flickered up to Mello. "Hey there, Blondie," S drawled in that lazy voice of hers, one eyebrow raised and one side of her mouth quirked upwards.

"Thanks for the towel." In a flash, her pale hand shot up through the sea of red and grabbed the fluffy white towel Mello was still holding.

"Don't call me Blondie, it's Mello," was all he could say.

"Avert your eyes, then, Mello," S told him. Mello obeyed and turned around, still trying to overcome his shock. _Get a grip, Mello, _he told himself hurriedly, _you should of expected it… she was covered in blood when she arrived_.

There was a sudden slam of the door, breaking Mello's train of thought.

"Wait a minute... S?"

* * *

_Dammit_, thought Mello, wandering hopelessly throughout the corridors. _I've lost her… wait a minute, why do I even care? Still, maybe I should check up on her_.

"Hey! Mello!" someone called out from the other end of the corridor – the opposite direction Mello was walking in. She was _behind him_. How the hell had that happened? He spun around to ascertain her location, but she had disappeared again.

"Mello…" someone whispered.

He turned around to find S's hypnotic green eyes just inches from his own.

He drew in a startled breath. Her intense gaze… it was heart-stopping. "What's up, Mello?" S murmured. Mello took this rare opportunity to briskly sweep his eyes across the icy planes of her face.

Her features were quite pretty, now the mud and grime had been washed away (not that Mello would ever _tell_ her that). There was a certain demureness and elegance about the way her hair fell softly to her shoulders (_she_ was blonde too! So why the _Blondie_ nickname when they'd first met?), and she had high cheekbones and a neat button nose.

And those green eyes – oh, you could _drown_ in those eyes, those quiet, understated oddities – were now widened in what appeared to be concern (yes, he could be poetic sometimes… he wasn't almost top in Wammy's House for nothing). He was so close to her that he could count the little yellow flecks in the emerald orbs dominating her face. "Mello?" she asked. "Something wrong?" A ghost of a smile graced her lips. "Cravings getting to you?" She pointed to his pocket, where his forgotten chocolate bar awaited his appetite's return. Mello was puzzled. _How did she_ –

"The items of clothing that are available to us here are rather drab," she declared, looking down at her own grey t-shirt, navy-blue wool cardigan, khaki, ankle-length skirt and brown, clog-like shoes with distaste. "However, I have a solution to fix it. I shall see you later, Mello." She walked off in the opposite direction to the girls' dorms.

Mello faced yet another moment of confusion. Why was she being so formal and courteous all of a sudden? And how was she still walking around – the bags under her eyes were panda-like and almost as bad as L's, the ultimate insomniac detective.

L.

Mello missed L badly, like a constant ache inside him. And he missed Ma–

– Mello was clumsily tackled to the ground with a surprising force, shocking him to the core.

"MEL!" Matt bellowed. "I'M BACK!"

* * *

**Author's Note:** Woohoo, he's back (total fangirl mode)! Sorry I went overboard with S's description, I wrote it but then couldn't bring myself to change it. Don't worry, I still don't think Mello's crushing on her, just acknowledging that she's pretty. What do _you_ think? Review, please! :D See you next chapter...

**Mello:** I'd just like to complain about the amount of STRESS you've been putting me through. As many Mello fans already know, AN ANGRY MELLO IS NOT A PLEASANT MELLO. Okay, rant over. *bites into chocolate*

**Author: **Well _sorry, princess._ I gave you Matt back, what more do you want?

**Mello: **Shut up.

**Author: ***Sighs* Okay. Sorry, Blondie.

**Mello: ***Left eye twitches* Oh dear god, Matt, there's two of them. _Help me_.


	3. Chapter 3: Death Of The Notes

**Author's Note: **Well, This is Chapter Number 3! The slight coarse language is beginnning now, folks, just so you know. Most of this was written before I even signed up to Fanfiction (I was nervous about publishing it) but I know that I must carry on and try my hardest not let to let the story die. I wanted you all to see the end, though I'm still coming up with ideas to make the original plot ending even better. As always I'd love your input. My writing feels more carefree now our adorable little Matt is back with us! I know, the name of this particular chapter _is_ rather ironic. Enjoy, and please review for me, I know it's not currently a romance but I'd still like some feedback ;D

(**P.S** the song playing in Near's room was Shut Me Up by Mindless Self Indulgence - I've been listening to that song on repeat while writing this. To be honest I think the way it's sung and its pace and its general overall craziness portrays S's inner character perfectly, though more on that later!)

* * *

**CHAPTER 3: DEATH OF THE NOTES**

MELLO'S POV

"MEL!" Matt bellowed. "I'M BACK!"

"Yes, I can see that, now GET OFF ME!" Mello yelled back automatically, despite the feelings of happiness and completion he was now experiencing. Matt's sudden entrance had shocked the blonde misfit, but as soon as Matt had tackled him, part of Mello (the part constantly tuned into Matt's) had known exactly who it had been.

"_Fine_, princess," Matt sighed sarcastically, jumping back up from the ground. He offered his hand to his best friend, but Mello declined and stumbled to his feet unaided. Mello then pulled Matt in to a rib-crushing bear-hug.

"I missed you Matt," he told his fiery-haired companion. "Really."

"Okay," Matt choked. "I believe you, and I appreciate it, but…" Mello pulled away, grinning from ear to ear as Matt coughed theatrically. Mello took in Matt's appearance. The red-head looked like he was suffering from jet-lag and his clothes were crumpled and his hair was mussed – but the joyful look on his face was genuine, without any crankiness whatsoever. But that was Matt in general. Sometimes it was like he wore his heart on his sleeve, and deep down, Mello envied his ability to do so.

"So what's been happening while I've been away, Mel?" Matt asked, but the words had barely left his mouth when a rather dishevelled-looking Near sauntered by, his unsettling eyes weary.

"Erm – what's up, Near?" Matt enquired. Matt didn't like Near much more than Mello, but he was the politer one of the duo and his feelings towards him were more brotherly. Near was _really_ fun to annoy, but Matt rarely took it too far. _Honestly_, thought Mello, _Matt's just too damn nice to Near_.

Near looked up, twiddling a lock of his messy, snow-white hair as usual. "Welcome back, Matt," Near murmured in his trademark robotic voice. "I trust the trip went well for you –"

"– Oh, for god's sake, Near, just answer the damn question instead throwing one back at him!" an impatient Mello growled. It had been an odd morning for him, and he wanted to get the conversation with Near over with so he could spend more time with Matt. Near flashed him a cold look.

"I was locked out of my own room, it seems," Near explained. "I didn't recognise the person who pushed me out of the way though. I'm usually quite good with faces, but it just didn't register."

"You didn't recognise her 'cause she's the new kid," A sullen Mello replied.

"Wait a minute; did you just get pwned by a girl?" Matt exclaimed, his eyes suddenly bright as he analysed the new information given to him. "And _you've_ met her?" he added, pointing to Mello.

There was a rather awkward silence.

"So… is she cute?" Matt asked casually, though his dark eyes – focused entirely on his blonde-haired accomplice – were glittering more than ever. "Is that why you haven't told me about her yet? You wanted to keep her all to yourself?" Matt wasn't serious – a stupid grin was plastered all over his face. Mello elbowed him, standard Mello-speak for _drop it_.

"So, do you know who she is, Mello?" Near muttered. Mello winced, remembering S's arrival and the way she had grabbed Jennie Bright… if looks could kill…

He coughed uneasily before saying. "L knows her. When she turned up here, Roger asked me to take care of her. She's quite… difficult to be around a lot of the time from what I've gathered. She's a little… well, odd. And we don't really know much about her, except she's spent time with L and she had a bad upbringing." Mello narrowed his eyes and stared off into the distance, trying to think of anything else to say about the mysterious girl. "We call her S," he finished lamely.

"She's a letter?" Matt muttered incredulously. "Like… Like L?"

"I think people are after her – that's why she can't even have a fake name. She needs a letter because then people won't think of her as a person. It will also command respect from others at Wammy's."

"Well that's not fair! You have to earn your place as a letter, we all know that," Matt explained needlessly. They all knew about that. It was all they really lived for.

"I for one want to know why she stole my room," Near stated simply.

"Then I'm coming with you, I'm curious about her as well," Matt replied. "I want to see this pretty girl my best mate is crushing on. When did you say the wedding was, Mel?" Mello ignored the jibe, because he couldn't believe his eyes. Matt was teaming up with Near all of a sudden?

"Fine, then," Mello snapped, bitter envy (that was usually kept at bay by cheerful Matt) creeping through his veins. "Let's go."

* * *

NEAR'S POV:

"S!" Mello called out from the outside of the door. "Open up!"

"I'm busy," S drawled. "Leave me alone." They could hear a CD being played quietly, though Near couldn't quite make out which song.

He wasn't really much of a music lover, and he certainly didn't listen to the music most kids his age did. It was probably because he didn't think of himself as a child. Mello was a classic "hormonal misfit nobody-cares-about-me" teenager, in Near's opinion. Near appeared to have either bypassed such an awkward stage, or had yet to experience it.

"Wait a minute, Near, why do you have a CD player in your bedroom again?" Matt asked. Near merely shrugged.

"I just wanted to see how it worked," Near muttered. Matt seemed content with Near's answer until –

"– wait a minute, there's only two CD players in the whole of Whammy's house!" Matt gasped in sudden realisation. "One of them belongs to Yori, that girl who hangs out on the second floor – and the other one is the one I, erm, borrowed from Mello –"

"– _hey_!"

"– so… you must have nicked it off either Yori or ME," Matt finished as Mello proceeded to bang on the door rather violently (whilst yelling "S! DAMMIT, S, WHY WON'T YOU COME OUT?" rather irately).

"I didn't 'nick' anything," Near told Matt, internally wincing at the absolute racket Mello was creating. "L brought one here last time and didn't really have a use for it anymore." Near finished his sentence, when really he wanted to keep going. Something rather peculiar had occurred that day…

* * *

"_Are you sure you don't want to keep it, L?" Near asked, holding the CD player in his small, pale hands. L shook his head slowly, his wild, untameable hair swishing slightly._

"_Of course not, Near," L answered in his cool, logical tone of voice. "It's the reason I brought it here with me in the first place. I simply have no use for it anymore."_

"_You could always sell it," Near suggested, examining the CD player closely with his light- grey eyes._

"_I –" L stopped mid-sentence. Near looked up at his mentor from his crouched position on the carpeted floor, an icy sensation flooding into the pit of his stomach (though he made sure that his poker-face was fixed firmly in place). L barely **ever** stopped talking before he had got his point across – his sentences were always smooth, structured and faultless combined with a perfect delivery, so no one could possibly doubt him or his reasoning._

_Finally, Near broke the silence by asking a simple question. "Why do you want to get rid of the CD player, L?" L's gaze flickered towards the window, and Near was thoroughly shocked to see that those compelling dark eyes were now shining with sudden emotion._

"_There's no point in it anymore," L answered, his voice unchanged but his eyes betraying him. "Music is dead to me now that… now that…" His voice tailed away._

_He muttered something that Near didn't quite catch – it was way too low and quiet, like a whisper stolen away by the wind._

_And with that, L departed the room without uttering another word._

* * *

Near's reverie was broken by the distinctive _click_ of the lock belonging to his own bedroom door. "Fine," the allusive S sighed in apparent exasperation, "Come on in, since all of you have been waiting so _patiently_." You could hear the sarcasm practically dripping off her words. It was, in Near's honest opinion, a feat worthy of Mello. Mello pushed open the door with a high-pitched _creak_. The three boys stopped in their tracks.

The wooden floor was covered in red - and so was S.

_Red, red, red, as far as the eye could see_.

S placed a scarlet hand to her face, covering one of her narrowed eyes. "How's it going, Mello?" she asked casually. "And who's the red-head, by the way? _'Cause he's cute_." Near couldn't take it in. what the hell at been going on in his room?

"What the fu..."Matt managed to choke out.

Near, meanwhile, was on autopilot, maintaining his trademark poker face (second only to L himself), as well as maintaining his usual silence.

"S!" Mello growled through clearly-gritted teeth, breaking the enchantment S's appearance had put upon the boys. "What the _fuck_ has been going on in here? Why are you - why are you like that? What have you been doing -" He stopped mid-sentence, for S had began to laugh. It was a creepy, edge-of-your-seat childish laugh, the kind you'd expect from BB or some other messed-up physco with nothing left to lose. It was like you could here her mind ticking brokenly. Like she could never be fixed.

Soon it was over, and the spell of silence was broken by Near this time. "Um, excuse me... S?" S laughed, a smirk on her face, and nodded in apparent comfirmation. "I would just like to ask what you have been doing in here," Near explained, keeping his voice as calm and as even as humanly possible.

"Wait a minute! _WAIT A MINUTE_! You - you guys think this is blood?" S yelped in surprise. She let out a high-pitched skriek of laughter, though it was over as suddenly as it had started. "You - you _idiots_! For geniuses, you sure are stupid! It's dye! Red dye! I hated the naff colours my clothes were, I decided to change them. Oh, god, I bet I scared the hell out of you three, didn't I?"She grinned, twsiting her reddened fingers together with implied glee. "So, what's for dinner?"

* * *

**Author's Note: **Wow, next chapter is going to be _awkward_ - like a dinner date from hell! I hope in the coming chapters there will be S's point of view - I'll see about writing it. I have no reviews at the present moment in time. Of course I'd love more input but to be honest I'm just enjoying writing this. I hope you like this as well. Review, please!


	4. Chapter 4: Shut Me Up

**Author's Note: **Hi, it's me again. Here's your update! :) Soon I'm going to be quite busy, so I'm trying to give myself a head start by writing as much as humanly possible. I'm already laying out the structure for the end of the story. Thanks so much to those people who added me to their story alert out of the blue! I'm so happy. Anyway, back to angsty Mello, quiet Near and gaming addict Matt - and of course the mysterious Miss S... Enjoy! By the way, I don't own Death Note OR its characters (no matter how much I desperately want to)! My own characters belong to me though :) More coarse language in this one, but not too much. S gets quite agitated...

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR: SHUT ME UP**

MELLO'S POV

It was one of the most awkward moments of Mello's entire life. The four of them walked side by side throughout the corridors, Matt still in shock, and Near (goddamm _silent_ Near) with his face expressionless. It was obviously up to Mello to make converstaion...

"Where did you get the red dye, S?" he asked, trying to keep the anger out of his voice (she had caused him _enough_ inconvenience today, and to be honest, she made him _really, really uneasy_). S gave him an infuriating, exaggerated wink before turning away from him, swishing her light blonde hair in the process. Out of the corner of Mello's eye, Matt started laughing, his hand covering his mouth. He could have fooled other people that he wasn't but Mello knew the red-head far too well.

S sniffed the air in apparent curiosity. "I. Smell. FOOD." she hissed. Suddenly, she darted ahead of the others, running to the end of the corridor where the dining hall was without her chaperones to accompany her.

"BAHAHAHA!"

Mello turned around. Matt was laughing breathlessly, one hand pointed at the direction S had dissapeared in, the other pointing at his best friend. "What's so funny?" Mello growled defensively.

Matt finally seemed to pull himself together, lifting up his goggles (which were always in need of some techincal improvement by the practical but relucant genius) to wipe away the tears of mirth. "It's written in the stars, Mel," he sniggered. "You were either seperated at birth or you're soulmates! She's crazy, she's impulsive and she flicks her blonde hair just like you do!" Matt did his own girlified impression of how Mello (and perhaps S) tossed their heads in indignation. "Honestly, dude, marry the girl!"

"MATT!" Mello yelled, cracking his knuckles. "IF YOU DON'T STOP WITH THE ROMANTIC CRAP THEN I SWEAR I'LL -"

"HURRY UP, YOU GUYS!" S called out from the other end of the corridor, easily drowning out Mello. "THEY'RE SERVING IT!"

* * *

There was quite a stir caused by S entering the room - she was still covered in the mysterious red dye. Most people simply stared, others whispered, some people even started calling out to her, asking what she was doing there or who exactly she was. A few of the younger Wammy's residents began to cry.

Despite himself, Mello felt a sudden twinge of sympathy for the new girl. Mello often came into that particular hall sporting injuries from his various adventures, or even with a stern Roger accompanying him (for he was often in trouble). They all usually stared and pointed... maybe that was why Mello got such a _buzz_ from it. For once, everyone paid attention to him. But S, well... for the first time since meeting her, Mello thought that S looked uncomfortable. He could almost predict the thoughts going through her head as her facial expressions changed from shocked and defensive to stoic.

The tension was tangible in the air as they sat down on a long, narrow bench to eat their meal. People were craning to get a look at the new arrival in their ranks - but an angry glare from an unusually-protective Mello satisified their interests. After a short while, the normal chatter that usually took place in the dining hall steadily built up again and S was being ignored - for now. Surprisingly, S didn't reach for anything, despite her previous eagerness to hurry everyone into the dining hall so they could all eat. Her eyes - her strange, indechiperable eyes - suddenly dulled dramatically. Her head drooped, narrowly missing the enormous plate of mashed potato and landing in her hands. Her breathing slowed.

Matt chuckled. "She's asleep," he acknowledged in a half-whisper. "I mean, she seemed a little weird when I saw her for the very first time - but who am I to judge? And she looks so _cute_ when she's sleeping!" Mello rolled his eyes, but he could _kind of _see what Matt had meant. She looked surprisingly like a little girl instead of a... well, something that _wasn't_ a little girl. Whenever she was awake, she looked like a hollow shell, her eyes dull and dead no matter how lively her actions appeared to be. It was evident that dreaming restored her, preserved her, kept her safe. Mello dug his elbow into Matt's ribs, indicating that they should leave her alone. Surprisingly, Near shuffled over to sit by Mello - _Mello_, of all people. Mello's eyes widened.

"_Oh no you don't_," he hissed. "Just because I've hung around with you today, doesn't mean I'll hang around with you any other time. Today was different from the others, that's all there is to it. Now will you just leave me _alone_?" He prodded Near's bare foot with his own heavy, boot-clad one. Near simply looked at him with an unreadable expression.

"I'm here to care for S, since you certainly won't do it," Near stated calmly.

"I _will _take care of her, _Near_," Mello bit back, spitting out Near's name like a bullet. "Who the hell said I wouldn't, 'cause I certainly didn't say that. Roger asked me to do it first. I've been running around after her all day, couldn't you see that -"

"SHHH!" Matt interjected. "I think S is talking in her sleep."

"I DON'T CARE, WHAT I DO CARE ABOUT IS PUTTING LITTLE TOE-RAGS LIKE HIM BACK IN THEIR PLACE -"

"Shut _up_, Mel," Matt told his best friend as S grunted while she slumbered. "At least let S sleep for a little while." the red-head's eyes softened. "She looks like she hasn't slept for _days_. And I thought _I _had jet-lag."

Mello felt a twinge of guilt as he noted the bags under her eyes for the second time that day, and sighed in exasperation. Why did Matt always have to bring out the best - no, the _worst_ - in him? He looked over at Near, who was sipping tomato soup in a very non-threatening manner. _I guess... I guess having him around us for a couple more hours couldn't hurt,_ thought Mello. _He could help us deal with S, anyway_.

Mello was beginning to identify with S more and more. She still seemed to be a little crazy, but maybe she would calm down after she'd got some rest. Matt had been right all along - S _did _talk in her sleep. She muttered something, a droplet of drool hanging from her mouth. She said it again, louder but still indecipherable to Mello.

Finally she said it again, louder still. "_Beyond Birthday_," she murmured.

All three boys jumped back in shock and surprise - even Near ever-so-slightly flinched. Mello felt an icy sensation deep in the pit of his stomach - Beyond Birthday...

..._It - it doesn't mean **anything**_, Mello thought hurriedly, trying to calm himself down. _She spent time with L, he says she's pretty smart, she probably asked him about it or saw the case files_...

But the most truly disturbing thought was that S was actually _dreaming _about an embodiment of insanity, murder and destruction. Why wasn't she scared? Why wasn't she phased by it even just a little? Mello shook his head at the unanswerable questions his mind had presented him, reluctantly turning back to his cooling stew when suddenly -

"L!"

Mello, Matt and Near turned to S. Her green eyes were wide open, and her breathing was fast and sharp. "S, are you okay?" Matt asked. Near just stared. Without thinking, Mello put a hand on her shoulder, before feeling another stab of sympathy. She was trembling. Mlik-white and obviously scared out of her mind, S closed her eyes and pulled her arms around herself.

She seemed to get herself into a more stable position - before jumping up from her place on the bench and hitting Mello on the back of the head.

"OW!" he yelped in protest, clutching his head. "What was _that _for?"

"WHY THE _FUCK_ DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP, BLONDIE?" S bellowed. "Honestly, _don't you idiots get it_? I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SLEEP!"

"I just -" Mello began, but S stopped him mid-flow.

"NO! SHUT UP! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!" S yelled, looking rather hysterical, her hands clenched into threatening fists, her face still as pale as death. "NO, WAIT," she continued. "SHUT ME UP! SHUT ME UP!"

And with that, S fled the room in full view of everyone.

Mello sighed, before jumping up and running after her, Matt and Near at his heels. What had she meant by shutting herself up? Mello had never felt so confused... _And just when I thought she was getting normal..._

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry that the update's a little shorter than the others this time. I hope I did this quick enough, I didn't want to rush it but I wanted to leave you all on a cliff-hanger for next time... Hopefully I did that well! :) Please review on how it went. I rather think there will be a S's Point Of View next time. I can't wait, my fingers are itching to type it, though I've still got to sort out a few plotholes before beginning the next update. See you then! Review!


	5. Chapter 5: Goddess

**Author's Note: **Wow, I honestly can't believe this is the fifth update (I know it's not very much compared to other people, but it is, admittedly, a pretty big deal for myself). FINALLY, S has a Point Of View going on for her, lucky girl. Sorry there is so much monologue at the start (it might even be hard to follow because I found it a little difficult to edit), but I feel it is important. Can any of you guess what is going on with Miss S? This chapter is going to be laden with angst, I'm afraid. I'm going to hand her over to you now, and see what she says. Good luck, guys - her mind isn't exactly the one of the safest places to be right now...

* * *

**GODDESS:**

S'S POV:

She padded into the quiet, clinical sanctuary of the bathroom, her brown, clog-like shoes now discarded. S had no use for them. They slowed her down, she wanted to run, she wanted to be free, she didn't want to be trapped by the bindings of her sick, twisted world anymore...

... All was quiet.

_Too _quiet.

She wanted to scream.

But that was S entirely - the strange child, _oddest_ in the extreme. She'd scream just to break a silence, to make things _interesting_, to shake things up on a total whim. She'd attempt to control it, but then the harsh vibrance of something _different_ from herself would burst through... she could see the colours...

...No, more precisely, she could see... she could see...

She shook her head, her facial expressions twisted into a self-loathing grimace, her eyes fixed on the dull-white bath she had used earlier on that day. S could still see traces of blood on the sides - even a disturbing hand-print. She pressed her clean hand onto the imprint of what it had once been.

Would she ever be truly clean again? Would she ever be rid of this curse?

_Fuck you, Mello_, she yelled inside her head, _why - why the hell did you have to wake me up? Why the hell does no-one understand just how dangerous I can become?_

Hell, indeed. This was hell. The sickness was back again. It was coming for her, she could feel it. Lack of sleep kept it temporarily at bay - Mello had messed everything up.

She'd tried desperately to follow L's example. She hardly slept. She'd have quite liked to say _never_ slept, but her goddamn body always gave out before her strength of will did. It was a sobering thought - she always had to remind herself that she was never completely in control. She also consumed sugary snacks and caffiene-filled products to maintain her insomnia - because a semi-life as a zombie was a far better prospect than the horrific nightmares...

_L, help me._

But was it L she really wanted - or was it someone completely different?

S staggered to her feet, strangely subdued, and checked her reflection in the mirror above the oval sink. The whole world was so _silent_. And so _still_. As if she was frozen forever in glass, trapped in her own world, not thinking, not feeling, not hearing - only seeing. She looked into her own eyes, searching for much-needed answers. Were there redeeming features to be celebrated?

_Hey there, beautiful._

S smiled with her plump lips at the memory of those light-hearted words, placing a hand on her cheek, enjoying the smooth feeling of her own snow-white skin. She'd always been told she was pretty by one important person in her life. She'd also been told by the very same person (jokingly, she presumed due to the tone of voice they had used) that she was rather vain as well. And her eyes! Big green eyes like crystal balls of fate and fortune! Enduring flecks of gold were fixed firmly in place in those eyes, like sparks of magic, luminous strands of life. They were truly compelling - you just couldn't look away.

_Swamp Eyes._

The memories of a lost life and identity overwhelmed her once more, as if she could drown in a stormy sea of speculation and reflection, choke on sentiment. Endeavouring to distract herself, she looked above her head. Nothing. Swallowing back the tears, S acknowledged that she had been chosen; cursed forever.

An eerily calm look on her face, S picked up the discarded hairbrush from the side of the sink, took a step back - and hurled it as hard as she could. There was sickening clash that broke the endless silence.

S had underestimated the powers of endurance the mirror held - it was obviously tougher than it looked (that's how she would've liked to be, but she was, regrettably, the complete opposite). A single, jagged crack had formed in the middle of the glass, like a thin bolt of lightning. There were always two sides to her. _I don't care_, she thought miserably, _I just want to be _me_, I mean, for god's sake, **is that too much to ask**_?

She stiffened, rigid as an iron rod. Someone had their hands on her shoulders, gripping them tightly. "Such a shame," _he_ whispered in her ear as she stood terrified, frozen with the acute fear - she knew this was just a memory, but it felt so nakedly _real_. "You had _so. Much. Potential_." A single tear oozed down her cheek. "You are a _goddess, _my sweetheart. A little goddess with superior instincts and eyes to literally _die for_. What are you sticking around for? Still feeling soppy and sentimental? A little _loyalty_ has poisoned you, perhaps? You were born to be this beautiful creature of power and stature. You can't deny your instincts - your reflexive reactions..."

_KILL. KILL. KILL. Always, she was told to murder brutally and destroy, to decimate and conquer. She didn't feel the strength to fight anymore... Could she hold on?_

S smiled involuntarily, despite her desperate situation. _Beyond Birthday, you sick bastard._

S wasn't even sure if she was conscious anymore. She wasn't sure if she was human anymore. She wasn't even sure if she existed or not. All she saw now was blood and violence, the world and all its ugliness.

_Such is the price of the demon eyes._

_Such is the curse of the goddess._

* * *

NEAR'S POV:

"Did you hear that? I heard a loud noise coming from that direction!" Mello told Matt and Near, pointing his gloved hand dramatically to the right of where they were standing.

"Well, _duh_, Mello," Matt replied. "I think all three of us heard it. You're such a drama queen sometimes. Let's get going, she could be hurt." Near and Mello nodded, and all three of them hurried over to the bathroom.

S stood swaying in the middle of the room, her eyes unfocused, the horrible scene made worse by the dye covering her from head to toe. Mello and Matt grabbed her shoulders and made her sit down on the closed lid of the toilet; Near still stood in the doorway, however, observing the scene and assessing the current situation. He could see the concern in Matt's eyes - in fact he could see similar feelings in Mello's... "What's up, S?" the red-head enquired. "What was all that about at dinner?"

S went, if possible, even whiter, like she was about to be sick, before slipping off the toilet seat and crouching on the floor in a near-fetal position. Mello and Mello crouched down on the floor with her. "Mello, I'm worried," Matt whispered. "It's like she isn't even listening to us. Her eyes are unfocused. She's not looking _at_ me; she's looking above my head!"

"S never told us how she became an orphan or why she came to Wammy's House," Mello reminded his friend. He put a hand on her shivering shoulder. "We honestly don't know what made her this way - except... well, maybe... L knows? Is there any way we could - S, stop it!"

As soon as Mello had mentioned the name of the famous detective L, S had grabbed hold of Mello's wrist and had squeezed it tighter and tighter, her jagged nails - obviously regularly chewed with ferocity - digging into Mello's skin. She let go with apparent reluctance. Near finally walked over to the three of them, and peered curiously into S's green eyes. Her tear-stained face remained frozen with, Near presumed, shock.

Near didn't like this. There was somehing inexplicably _wrong_ about the scene he was witnessing - call it a sixth sense, but he could tell that they were way out of their depth when they were dealing with S. He was also extremely surprised to see Mello and Matt acting so - dare he say it - _mature_. They were usually carefree and laid-back (in Matt's case) or too wrapped up in their own thoughts to care for people they'd just met (in Mello's case) - or Near, for that matter. Of, course, Near didn't mind being alone, but they could at leat let up on the insults once in a while... but enough about himself, what was wrong with S? What - or possibly even who - had spooked her?

"We've got to move her away from here... tell Roger, or something..." Matt muttered distractedly as he rubbed her shoulders using soothing, circular motions (to which S did not respond). Near knew then for sure that Matt was taking this situation as seriously as he himself was - you rarely went to Roger for _anything _whatsoever. However, Roger had already heard about S's sudden outburst at lunch and was in the vicinty of where S was when she'd decided to throw the hairbrush.

* * *

MELLO'S POV:

Roger barged into the bathroom, managing to bang the door almost off its hinges even though it had been half-open already. "What's going on, Mello?" he barked imperiously. "Why have I heard about you and S having a punch-up?" Mello, hidden behind Matt and safe from view, gave a quick roll of his eyes from his position on the floor (not that he wouldn't do it right in front of Roger if this situation hadn't been so serious). The Wammy's game of Chinese Whispers had began, twisting words and blowing things entirely out of proportion. Sure, they were geniuses, but they were still kids.

Roger's gaze fell upon the shocked S. "What - What..." He looked lost for words.

"S, well, she had... a bit of a funny turn, I guess," Matt explained uneasily. "We're not sure what to do about -" Roger silenced him by putting a finger to his own lips. Mello felt anger surge through his veins. _We've been here for the longest, Roger, aren't you at least going to listen to what we've got to say? _Mello thought furiously. _I mean, god, leave it to Roger to piss me off after being here for about what, thirty seconds? _He was pulled from his thoughts by S starting to make a peculiar, distressed noise between a whine and a grunt, and then Mello knew that he had to stop thinking about himself and be there for S.

"S?" Roger whispered. "Are you alright?" S slowly nodded her head, as if in a trance. "Near," Roger began again as Near lifted his head in assumable surprise, "I would like you to take S back to her room and -"

"Hey, hey, wait a minute!" Mello interrupted, the competitive streak taking him over once more as he jumped to his feet. "You said that I was going to be taking care of S!" Matt stood up too and put a hand on his best friend's shoulder, but Mello shook it off. "_Yes_," Mello growled, "I _know_ I said that I didn't want to do it but now that I -" He stopped mid-sentence, and looked down to see S tugging onto his tight black t-shirt.

A stunned silence followed.

Mello - the defensive, harsh, hot-headed Mello - was now melting at the sight of S's overwhelmingly big green eyes drowning in emotion. The torrent of tears was picking up again in earnest, streaking down her ghostly-pale face and making her appear more like a child than ever before. Her lifeless blonde hair hung limply against the sides of her face, and her arms looked far too thin and fragile. Mello put a tentative hand on her shoulder, more to see if she was real rather than to comfort her.

Two words escaped from her clamped-together lips in the form of a strangled whisper. "Don't go."

* * *

S'S POV:

Only the good died young.

As Mello and Matt carefully lifted a shaky S to her feet, she looked uncertainly into the depths the cracked mirror. Her doppleganger was now warped and twisted. This, S considered, was good. For this was how she truly was on the inside. How she truly _felt_.

The mirror-girl smiled almost apologetically, looking over at Mello and Matt behind S, who were huddled together, conversing quietly. "When will you tell them?" the mirror-girl asked huskily, eyebrows raised and arms folded condescendingly. "Will you _ever_ have the _guts_ to tell them?" S turned away from her, nauseated at the very thought of confronting her new-found - well, not exactly _friends_...

She wanted to scream or cry, do _something_, _anything_ to alert Matt or Mello of what she had discovered. A single tear refused to dissapear, and so trickled down her icy cheek.

_Shut me up_.

It was true. Only the good died young. Godesses lived on forever.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Wow, that was difficult to write about. I'm sorry if it dragged on a little. So, any of you guessed S's little problem? ;) I know, you wouldn't expect Beyond Birthday to be there - she's merely drowning in memory, not experiencing him for real. She shares a connection with him - she also has one with L... Anyway, apologies for the major angst or if S came off as a little weak or needy. It was essential to the plot to see different sides to her. Hope you enjoyed that. Review, please! :D


	6. Chapter 6: Summer's Cold Shoulder

**Author's Note: **Whew... this is OwlishEyesAndAvidQuill here, with my sixth update :) Hopefully more people than I think are following this. Still, one or two people is better than absolutely no-one. I know I'm not the best writer, but I'm just enjoying this new experience. This chapter delves into the past, so I apologise if you feel that this particular chapter is veering off-course or going off on a tangent slightly. Wow. Chapter six. AND A MYSTERY POV (I like to think he's the Matt before Matt, if you know what I mean - not that I don't adore Matt way more). Here we go! :D

P.S I don't own Death Note OR Colgate toothpaste. Enjoy! OH, and also, I've been listening to _Lillium_, y'know, the opening to _Elfen Lied_ (don't own that either), on repeat throughout the duration of writing this chapter. To me, it really fitted the mood I was attempting to create. Does it fit to you?

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX: SUMMER'S COLD SHOULDER**

VADIM'S POV

_It was summertime at Wammy's House._

_Vadim Rhodes (seldom-used compulsory alias - Chip) lay in the earthy embrace of the soft, green grass, breathing in the heavenly scent of the world itself. It was a beautiful, peaceful early afternoon, and the hill he was residing on provided scenic views. All he wanted to do was sit back and watch the few wispy clouds gently roll by. Sure, L was visiting Wammy's, Vadim's home - but Vadim wasn't too interested in hanging onto L's every word or following him around like a possessive puppy. Being L's successor was not high on Vadim's Top Ten List Of Awesome Things To Do (currently taped onto the back of his wardrobe door). He didn't even make people call him Chip or C, because he just didn't see the need for it in his future. There were more important things to think about - like what was for supper that night, or avoiding another annual Wammy's house hair-cut (he loved his curly, shoulder-length, crow-black hair as it was, thank-you very much)._

_Suddenly, his senses were engulfed by an all-too-familliar experience - someone was dropping what felt like mounds of grass onto him!_

_He sat up quickly, coughing and spluttering. A series of quiet chuckles made him turn his head to the left and assess who was the culprit of the deed._

_A laughing little girl was standing over him, her shining blonde hair in pigtails tied with pink ribbon. She was wearing a pink and black gingham dress with cream netting that puffed out slightly, and brown lace-up boots. Her bambi-big eyes (soft, glittering green eyes) were widened with amusement. "You've got grass in your hair!" she snickered, her small fingers playing with the string of rainbow beads that hung loosely around her pale neck._

_"Yeah, and it was probably you," Vadim replied shortly, still spitting out emerald-green strands of the wretched stuff._

_"It was funny, huh?" the little girl giggled, totally unfazed by Vadim's rapidly-declining mood. "I just wanted to make friends with you!" Vadim's ice-blue eyes softened and melted at her apparently innocent intentions. He hadn't seen her around Wammy's, so maybe she was just visiting (they were usually made aware of new kids). But why was she visiting at exactly the same time as L? And who was accompanying her?_

_"Who's with you, darling?" Vadim asked curiously._

_"Um - are you talking about Bluebell?" the little girl murmured, obviously confused. She held up a soft doll with a blue and white checker dress on, its ginger hair also in pigtails. Vadim hadn't noticed it before - she had been hiding it behind her back, like it was her one true treasured secret._

_"I was talking about -" Vadim hesitated. Should he say mom or dad? He was well aware that not everyone had parents, heck, he himself didn't have parents. Instead he just settled for: "I was talking about the person who looks after you."_

_"**Oh**, you mean my big brother!" the girl exclaimed. "He's visiting here too. He says I'm not around people my own age enough. He's really tall, and strong, and lovely..." Vadim found himself tuning out the child's voice without realising. He tried to jump back into the now rather one-sided conversation. "...and he **always** pushes me on the swing if I ask him enough times and he says he'll teach me how to ride a bike soon because he's nice like that, most people already know how to but he says I'll learn soon enough. I love him so so so so much!" the endearing little girl beamed proudly, her eyes lighting up like the sun and her mouth stretched wide, showing her neat white teeth._

_"Erm... he must be really something," Vadim summed up cautiously. "So what's your name, honey?" He wasn't quite sure how to talk to little girls, especially ones that weren't damaged in some way. No, the age wasn't really the problem for Vadim Rhodes, otherwise known as Chip; the problem was that she was from the outside world, the **real** world where **real** things happened. She was an ordinary little girl with her future yet to be decided. For about half a second, Vadim felt a pang of envy and - dare he admit it - fear. For this girl had more control over her own life (or **would** as she grew up) than he himself had._

_"Um..." _

_Vadim was pulled from the deep waters of his reverie by the little girl's voiced reluctance. "I don't really think I could tell you," the girl finished. Vadim was, of course, used to this type of behaviour. But why did a little girl need to hide her name from the world when she wasn't going to be L's successor? Was it just "Stranger Danger" anxieties, or something entirely different?_

_"Why not?" the words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself. He hadn't meant to pry, but he was just so damn curious. **Honestly**,He thought, **Why am I investigating her? I don't WANT to be a detective, unlike everyone else here!**_

_"It's because... well, I don't really know what my name is," the girl whispered, shifting from one foot to the other, her eyes clouded with anxiety and uncertainty, her hands now clutching at her obviously-beloved doll. Vadim immeadiately explored the possibility that this could be a lie in his mind, but dismissed it. The girl looked so innocent. He didn't see why she would want to lie, and even if she was lying, it was probably just because someone had told her to - it wasn't her fault. But how could she not know her own name?_

_Quillish Wammy came striding up the hill Vadim was on with surprising vigour. "S," Wammy called out, his eyes locked on the small girl in front of him. "Did you take your pill today? I need to know, S, and now." Vadim's ears pricked up. So her name was a letter, now? Maybe she was meant to be a new successor, after all..._

_The girl apparently known as S's eyes widened. She slowly shook her head._

_Wammy sighed in apparent exasperation. "How many times have your brother and I **told** you, S?" he scolded. "These pills are to help you, not harm you. You can go outside and play **later**, when you're safe and sound. Now come back down to the House before your symptoms start and your brother gets worried -"_

_"Ah!"_

_S had made a soft cry of distress, and Wammy ran over to her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "See? Now come back down with me before -" S had her hands over her eyes, and had gone extremely pale. Vadim got up from his place on the floor and asked whether she was okay. S simply whined, shaking her head, still covering the top half of her face with her hands._

_It was silent for the moment, and Wammy was appearing to get desperate. Vadim wanted answers. Why did S need pills? What was her condition? Was she going to be alright?_

_"S?" Wammy enquired. "Is everything -"_

_She quickly took her fingers away from her eyes. Vadim almost fell off the small, steep hill in shock. "WHA-" he hissed._

_There had been a flash of red._

_Her wide, fearful eyes met his. A tear fell into her open palm. "I didn't want anyone to see me like this," she whispered. She uttered another, sudden cry and put a hand over her mouth._

_"W- Wamm- Wammy..." she gasped. "I - I saw..." she ducked her head miserably._

_Vadim bit down on his lip, bit it hard until beads of startlingly-scarlet blood began to blossom there. He searched ruthlessly through his capable but usually idle mind, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation other than that his eyes were decieiving him, that he was experiencing a strong hallucination, that he was dreaming and he would wake up soon... He looked to Wammy, desperate for much-needed answers. Wammy simply looked back at him with indecipherable eyes, as if assessing Vadim's reaction. Vadim blinked, wishing this whole situation would dissapear from his memory. He couldn't comprehend this, he couldn't deal with it, he just couldn't **take** it. _

_"What's your name?" S murmured, her voice cracking._

_Before Vadim could stop himself, he had answered her. "Chip."_

_She looked up, her crimson eyes suddenly hard and cold but her lips stretched into a clearly-involuntary smile. "I know you're lying," she whispered. "I thought we were friends." She turned away from him, Wammy's thin, wrinkled hand still placed on her shoulder. "Come on," she muttered, her voice emotionless, callous, ultimately dead. "L wil be waiting for us." Vadim couldn't believe it. She was just an ordinary little girl - or had been, around ten minutes ago. Now she was a ghostly prescence with snow-white skin, crimson eyes and a built-in lie detector. How could the beautiful, lighthearted day have fallen apart so quickly?_

_S suddenly flicked her head, her adorable pigtails swishing along with her. "Oh, and Vadim?" she whispered, not quite meeting his shocked eyes. "I'm sorry about the accident." She turned away from him, giving him the frostiest of shoulders._

_Wammy looked at him, his eyes bleak and sad. "I'm so sorry you had to see that, Chip," he apologised. "There's nothing bad about her. I promise you that it isn't her fault she's this way." He then appared to pull himself together, accompanying the horribly intriguing S down the hill and back to left wing of Wammy's House without another word._

_Vadim suddenly felt cold, like an icy wind had descended upon him, despite the warm, now very humid air. He closed his eyes, an imminent headache making itself known. What the hell had just happened? He remembered S's - or more importantly, **the little girl's **- laugh, so carefree and innocent. He missed that side of the newcomer already._

_He stood for a few more minutes (or maybe, quite possibly, forever) on the hill, remembering that happy sound. He lost track of the time, the sun setting, the colours setting his soul alight like they always did. Then he tried to expel the particularly shocking turn of events from his mind (he was good at blocking things out - whenever he thought of parents, all he saw and heard was a faint spattering of crimson and the ghost of a scream) and walked off towards the Boys' Dorms, his hands in his pockets._

_Try as he might, Vadim thought about that afternoon every single time he was lying in bed, praying for sleep to come and for his new-found insomnia to end, for the rest of his days._

_All eleven of them._

* * *

S'S POV

S was wrenched from the sea of misery - of mere memory - with a startled, shuddering gasp.

_Eight years had gone so fast_.

She blinked, wondering where the hell she was, before suddenly remembering. She was tucked up in her new bed at Wammy's House, missing her brother and thinking about Vadim Rhodes, otherwise known as "Chip".

_Even though it had been summer, she had felt so cold..._

He had _lied_ to her. He had been _frightened_ of her. He could never accept her for who she was. Her first friend, her brother not included, had parted ways with her whilst clearly hating her guts. A tight knot of rejection twisted in her stomach, and she could feel the saliva gathering. She was going to be sick.

She only just made it in time. She flushed the toilet before checking her reflection in the mirror. Ugh.

She looked horrible, a sheen of sweat covering her entire face and her pale complexion tinged with green. She slowly shook her head, grimacing, but this increased her head-rush so she stopped and made a mental note to not move her head again for a little while.

Just as she had finished brushing her teeth, S heard somebody's footsteps coming closer towards her, and had to remind herself that there wasn't anyone in Wammy's who would want to hurt her, that she was obviously going to be okay... attempting to keep calm and slow her breathing, S strained her ears, trying to work out who the visitor of the night was.

"Hey."

The hot-headed boy known as Mello stood in the doorway, currently snapping off a piece of his chocolate bar with his teeth. He had said hello, or at least _som__ething_ that symbolised a greeting! Did he - did he actually _like_ her? S stopped herself from shaking her head just in time. That couldn't possibly be it. He was probably just humouring her. But for now, she wanted to pretend that he was interested in her well-being.

_Game on, Keehl, game on_.

"Hey, Blondie," she muttered with a mournful half-smile playing on her lips. She refrained from laughing when Mello's left, icy-blue twitched.

Icy-blue eyes, grudgingly honest and true. So like Vadim's...

...S stopped herself from dwelling more on that thought. She was feeling crappy enough without having to think about _him_.

"I keep telling you, S, don't call me _Blondie_," Mello snapped, his eyes cold. But they softened and melted when he took in S's appearance and demeanour. "You were sick?" he asked.

S knew there was no point in denying it. "Yeah," she replied. "I don't think it's a bug though, 'cause I think I feel a little better now." It was true. She no longer felt like she was going to throw up her non-existent lunch, the foul taste was gone from her mouth thanks to Wammy's finest Colgate toothpaste and the head-rush was somewhat subsiding. "What are you doing up so late?" she asked Mello casually, one eyebrow raising as usual. "To help the chucking-up damsel in distress?"

Mello actually chuckled a little before saying: "I couldn't sleep; my roommate Matt snores like a fog-horn, and I usually don't mind but tonight he sounded particularly loud. I'm surprised he doesn't wake half the House sometimes." He put his head to one side, appearing to assess the current situation, before biting off another piece of chocolate and saying: "Seems like you can't sleep either. What's on your mind, S?"

S smiled sadly again, before sitting down on the cold edge of the bath (she wasn't in the bathroom where she'd had her little "episode" - they'd placed her in the East Wing of Wammy's House, the Girls' Dorms area). "Believe me, Blondie, you wouldn't want to know," she told him simply. Surprisingly, Mello sighed and let the "Blondie" thing slide for once, before sitting down next to her.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk to me?" Mello pressed. "I'm nobody, I'm totally unbiased. And I wouldn't tell anyone, y'know, 'cause I'm not some creepy little grass who listens in on peoples' conversations then tells Roger." S stayed silent for a moment, touched by his words. _Maybe he does care after all... _But could she really tell him?

_No_. She could never tell _anyone_. If she started talking about the unfortunate case of Vadim Rhodes, absolutely everything would start pouring out and she'd end up telling Mello all of it. Half of it he wouldn't believe, and half of it he would be disgusted by. It was her secret. She had to accept that it was her burden and her burden alone.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I... I just can't." Mello nodded understandingly, empathy in his surprisingly gentle eyes. S remembered that he was an orphan too, no doubt a genius but nevertheless growing up without ordinary, everday parents. And intelligence couldn't change that fact. Wammy's wasn't really an Institute - it was where the damaged kids came to seek solace in years of accquiring knowledge and training to achieve the ultimate goal - being Number One.

"So... what's L _like_?" Mello asked, as S flinched at the very mention of the elusive detective's name. It had been asked casually, but S could hear the desire for answers behind his softly-spoken words.

"Oh... he's alright," she replied, trying not to think of the memories, the history they shared... "He's the quiet type. You're never really sure what he's thinking." S wanted to put up her hands and yell "EXCEPT I DO!" as loud as she possibly could, because she loved L and he'd smile sometimes, smile for _her_ and her alone, and they'd always cared for each other and had a weird, deep, heartfelt connection...

_"...and he **always **pushes me on the swing if I ask him enough times and he says he'll teach me how to ride a bike soon because he's nice like that, most people already know how to but he says I'll learn soon enough. I love him so so so so much!"_

Tears sprang up in S's eyes as he remembered the words she had eagerly recited to Vadim, because she really loved L from the bottom of her heart. She wanted him to be with her now, that brilliant detective L. The famous L, the cold-hearted bastard L, who everyone respected and even idolised but never truly loved. It was partly his own fault, of course. He was a little too cold and calculating sometimes, like he didn't care about anything except Justice, no matter what the sacrifice. But deep down, S couldn't quite bring herself to believe that that was all he cared about, all he hoped for, all he _dreamed_ for.

Oh dear god, how she missed him.

Mello's eyes met hers. He placed a hand on her shoulder, and asked, "who are you, S?"

S made a meek sound half-way between a a chuckle and a sob. "You'd never believe me if I told you, Mello," she sighed exasperatedly, her head leaning to the left and resting on his tentative hand. She closed her eyes, like she could go to sleep there and then. And she probably _could_. She was tired now; so tired and sick of it all. She just wanted to rest.

"I'm alright now - just knackered," she whispered, scrubbing irritably at the goddamn waterfall of exhausted tears. "I think I'm going to go back to bed. I suggest you should do the same, and get some shut-eye. You've got classes tomorrow, and I recall hearing Roger banging on about a surprise chemistry test this morning to that uppity _Jennie_." S's gentle voice turned sour when she mentioned Miss Bright. She stood up abruptly, Mello's hand flew away from her as if to deny it had been comforting her earlier on. "G'night, Blondie," S called out as she left the room, and the spell of innocence was broken and she was weird, unpredictable S once more.

* * *

Back in the wonderful silence of her room, her temporary sanctuary, a fidgety S lay sprawled out on her new bed, too hot and bothered to slip under its plain white covers. She had an IQ test tomorrow which she really couldn't care less about. Her thoughts turned back into speculation about Vadim Rhodes.

She had told him that she was "_sorry about the accident_" and she really, truly was. She knew he had stepped in front of a car. She knew he never woke up.

But they never really did tell her what his last words were. She would have liked to have known them. She would have liked to have known that her outburst hadn't changed him. That he had died a normal human boy with hopes, dreams and fears.

They'd never really sat her down and asked her how she felt about it. She would've liked that - but there was no point in now. She was far too desensitised to death and destruction. Whenever she managed to sleep, she later saw other people about the fall into the deepest sleep of them all, never to awaken from their slumber again. It was... sick to just stand by and let it happen. Yet... there was nothing to do about it. She knew to never tamper with peoples' timelines. It was an innate trait in her, _born_ into her.

S felt sick again.

_Help me , brother._

* * *

**Author's Note: **So there you go! Chapter six! Sorry if it went off-track. I enjoyed writing Mello (Blondie :D) and S's heart-to-heart. So now we kind of know L and S's deep connection - but what about the elusive Mr Beyond Birthday? There's more chapters and story to come! Sorry about the long-winded tangents I go off on, please bear with me. If you have any ideas on the plot or improvements to make, please don't hesistate to alert me of them so I can improve this piece of writing! Bye for now, and please review! :D


	7. Chapter 7: Monochrome

**Author's Note: **Hey there, It's me again with the seventh chapter of Swamp Eyes. The plot has thickened somewhat, I think. So, it's evident that L and S are really close... but where does Beyond Birthday come into all of this? Of course, before all that we've got to delve deep into both S and L's childhoods (or perhaps one _shared_ childhood) for more important answers. Man, I didn't mean to make S so darn _soppy_. She's practically crying in every chapter! Well, I guess they are exceptional circumstances. I think I'll try to stop that happening so much. Then again, this is under the genre _angst_...

I put part of a song into this particular chapter, it was Rainbow Veins, one of my personal favourites by Owl City (I own nothing!). I think it kind of suited the mood of the flashback (spoilers!). Hopefully, I pulled that off relatively well. Tell me what you think, guys!

By the way, thank-you so much the anonymous reviewer 19sazzy97 and Ants64 for favouriting my story. Thanks again, you guys! I was listening to L's Theme B while writing this as well as Rainbow Veins. I love that L theme, it makes me wanna headbang! Love ya, L!

Please review! :D

**P.S:** Wow, that was a long Author's Note. Hmm, so anyway, I don't own _Death Note _(or _the_ Death Note for that matter ;D), Sellotape (DUH) or the various games Matt goes on about. Anyway, enjoy...

* * *

**CHAPTER 7; MONOCHROME**

MATT'S POV

Mail Jeevas, better known as Matt of Wammy's House, woke up to the sound of a loud THUD and a stream of profanities from an annoyed Mello. Rather than feigning sleep (which would just get a pillow thrown at him from his angry roommate), he decided to pull the covers back and see what was going on.

Mello was on the floor, hugging his leg close to his chest, his eyes watering. "Um... Mello?" Matt enquired, genuinely worried about Mello. Mello _never_ cried. Well, almost never. Matt hadn't been Mello's life-long best mate without seeing a thing or two.

"MATT!" Mello growled, wiping furiously at his ice-blue eyes. "Just... _just give me a minute_, alright?" He closed his eyes, trembling with apparent mortification. "So... er... I was searching for those old pictures Roger gave us," he explained, obviously trying to cover up his little episode. "Remember, when we were little?"

"Yeah," Matt murmured, recalling the memories vividly, "And you were always moaning about not getting to see L enough -"

"-Hey!"

"-And eventually Roger gave you some old pictures of Wammy's house back in the day to shut you up?"

"Well, yeah, that's the gist of it," Mello sighed irritably, "and we put them up somewhere safe. So safe that _I can't even freaking find the damn things_!"

"Um, dude, is your leg okay?" Matt asked, rubbing the sleep from his emerald-green eyes. "What fell on you, anyway?"

"N-nothing, it doesn't matter," Mello mumbled, rubbing his head and ruffling his shiny blonde hair. "Listen, I think... well, I think I saw something in those pictures... it's all coming back to me now. Maybe L wasn't as solitary as we'd previously thought..."

Matt sighed. It was always the same with Mello. It's not that Matt felt jealous because of how Mello discussed L over and over like he was the only important person in the world - Matt knew that he and Mello were best friends, and cared for each other deeply. Also, being jealous took too much time and above all _effort_. He'd much rather kick back and relax with _Final Fantasy_ or _Legend of Zelda_ while Mello went round in circles, wondering endlessly about L.

But sometimes, Mello really needed to take a chill pill. It clearly wasn't healthy to stress about L when the elusive detective could be absolutely anywhere in the world. Mello, in Matt's humble opinion, constantly worried far too much over the past and the future, not liking Matt's "whatever will be, will be," attitude. What really mattered was _right now_, didn't Mello see that?

"C'mon, Mel, let's do something together and not worry about L, he's perfectly fine on his own," Matt encouraged, "and since I'm up - why don't we just play _Gran Turismo_? You haven't played that with me in _ages_."

"For god's sake Matt!" Mello huffed, rolling his eyes. "Believe it or not, the world does _not_ revolve around your PSP -"

"Actually, I was talking about my PS3 -"

"You're missing the point! Just help me find the photos!"

"Fine, _Blondie_ -"

"No freaking way are you going to call me that, Matt! Don't start imitating S!"

"Why the hell not, Mel? Is it 'cause you have a soft spot for little S...?"

"SHUT UP! And help me while you're at it!"

"_Okay, okay_... man, you're in a pleasant mood this morning..."

Matt dragged himself from his toasty-warm matress and crouched down to search underneath the bunk-bed. "Nope, nothing under here," he noted out loud. He then noticed Mello wincing as he pressed a hand to the back of his blonde head. "What's up, Mel?" Matt asked.

"I don't know..." Mello muttered absently. "I - I feel a bit dizzy..." Mello's eyes slowly closed and he swayed on the spot. With a sudden lurch he fell forward - landing on a shocked Matt, who yelped in surprise.

Mello did not stir.

"M-Mello?"

There was still no reply.

"D-damn, how much do you weigh, Mel?" Matt sighed as he struggled to prise himself from Mello. When he was finally free, he looked down at his friend with genuine concern. "I'd better get you to the nurse, and quick..."

* * *

S'S POV

Shock overcame a concealed S's features as she witnessed Matt dragging an unconcious Mello away from their room. She sighed, knowing he would be unable to help them. She didn't want to accidentally reveal that she had been listening at their door.

She bit her lip - how much did the two of them know already?

S slapped her forehead, trying to think, think, _think_. She'd been up all night trying to do so - and the numbers, the fates of the unsuspecting mortals written in sinister scarlet, they were gradually beginning to wither and dwindle, to fade... but it also meant that she was sleep-deprived once more, and her struggling mind didn't exactly feel peachy at that present moment in time.

She sighed, before cautiously entering Mello and Matt's bedroom.

It was messy - but that was to be expected, she thought with a simple shrug. Wrinkling her nose, S realised that the whole place smelled of aftershave - and perhaps even a tiny hint of chocolate. She noticed a small filing cabinet lying on the floor - probably the object that had knocked Mello unconcious. But... the photographs...

Where could they possibly be?

Twenty-five agonising minutes later, S found an old, battered envelope hidden between two gamer's magazines and a box of discarded chocolate wrappers from deep within the wardrobe. The seal was already broken, and Sellotape was obviously its stop-gap sealing solution.

S tore it open eagerly... and the memories came flooding back...

* * *

_"I love cameras!" the little girl laughed, taking picture after picture of a single daisy in the middle of the football field with a flourish._

_"Well, you seem to making quite a hobby of it," Quillish Wammy acknowledged with a small smile. "It's so nice that you have something to make you happy." All was well. There was an ordinary little girl in front of him. An ordinary little girl with a problem, of course - but since she had taken her miraculous pills, she was free to embrace her childhood, and this made Wammy extremely pleased and content with the world around him._

_"Yeah, this makes me happy," the girl replied with an endearing smile of her own, breaking Wammy's chain of thought, "but so does my big brother!"_

_This was S, six years old and enjoying her life. And, as usual, eagerly praising her older sibling._

_"I want to take a photo of him, too!" she stated adamantly._

_"Ahem... that may not be the best idea right now, S," Wammy told S, trying to break it to her gently. Questions had been raised about her beloved brother's future... about leaving S. He had argued with Wammy, saying that he would never "abandon" S - but what other place was there for her except for Wammy's House? And wouldn't he have to leave and take his future into his own hands eventually?_

_He was at the other side of of the large school grounds, brooding, contemplating... S didn't have to see that._

_"But - but why?" S asked, her adorable eyes wide and alight with curiosity._

_"Well, he's a little busy at the moment," Wammy attempted to explain. "I have to go and talk to a student about something now. Do you promise you won't stray too far if I let you stay outside to take more photographs? If you want anything, Jennie is just in that building over there with the other children." Jennie Bright. She was a nice young lady, just starting out in the proffesion of looking after children - though she'd been looking after her sick mother and her disabled younger sister almost all of her life. You could tell she wasn't too fussed about her appearance - her tousled dark brown hair was in pigtails, and she wore loose-fitting clothing with clunky, sensible shoes. But she was good with kids, and a wonderful, loving, well-rounded person despite her hardships._

_"Um... okay,"S replied, holding the camera in her hands with an innocent reverence._

_Wanny nodded, and left her to her own devices. _

_S was worried._

_What was wrong with her brother? She had seen him leave Roger's office earlier. And he - he had been **crying**. She wanted to make him feel better, but when she had tried to ask him about later, he had brushed her off, saying that there was nothing wrong with him and that she shouldn't stress about it. But she **was** stressing about it. If only he could see what she had saw as he had left the office..._

_...maybe a photo would have to do._

* * *

**"**Cheer up and dry your damp eyes,  
And tell me when it rains,  
And I'll blend up that rainbow above you,  
And shoot it through your veins,  
'Cause your heart has a lack of colour,  
And we should've known,  
That we'd grow up sooner or later,  
'Cause we wasted all our free time alone..**"**

_Rainbow Veins_, by _Owl City_.

* * *

An adolescent S dabbed desperately at her eyes as she struggled to focus on the - no wait, _her_ - photograph.

The weather had been strangely overcast when S had wandered over to her brother, the brooding figure drowning in his own thoughts. One snap was all it took - and he had been immortalised forever.

Ah, and there he was. Teenage L.

He wore black back then. _A lot of black_. Black t-shirt; black slacks with a black leather belt and silver buckle; black fingerless gloves; scuffed, black trainers; all topped off with a black fedora hat, which he was seldom seen without. The hat's purpose wasn't to attract attention - L was a social recluse even then - it was more because, well, he liked the hat. It was something he owned, something he treasured, something that he didn't have to share with the rest of his accquired "brothers" or "sisters" for once in his life.

L was set against callous white sky and grim concrete, his soulful eyes staring into the shadowy future. In fact, almost the entire picture was made up of shifting shapes of black and white, bleak and desolate, a distorted reality that was somehow captured by camera. Monochrome. Endless monochrome.

Because that, S supposed, was the way L thought about things now. There was light and there was dark. There was justice and crime - Victory and failure.

All S wanted was for L to be _happy_. To do something that he actually enjoyed doing instead of just doing what was best for the world, no matter how selfish that wish appeared to be. Was he really _that_ content with being the brilliant but lonely top detective?

She sighed, and looked again at the photograph of L. Something had changed him that day - but she couldn't help feeling like she wasn't getting the true account of events - the full picture...

* * *

BEYOND'S POV

_It was boring day._

_Dull, dull, DULL._

_Every day he spent his time fighting the urges. Every day he came closer to failure._

_Yet failure was not an option. And it never would be. Not when he considered his precarious yet respectable position._

_And there she was, as he was looking out onto the green on that early Autumn day._

_Little girl. Blonde hair. Pretty green eyes._

_No numbers._

_NO NUMBERS_**_._**

_**NO NUMBERS**._

_Ah, so another one..._

_...this was going to be - dare he even say it - **fun**._

_He wandered over to the girl in a daze, hardly believing his sudden luck. She was another one, he could sense it, he could feel it in his bones..._

_Quivering with the aticipation, he tapped the mysterious child on the shoulder. "Hello, little girl," he breathed, elated beyond measure as she turned around._

_And that was all it took._

_She dropped her eyes low, and when they snapped back up again, they were a stunning scarlet. "Hello, red-eye boy," she whispered, her voice cold and foreboding. Those burning eyes and innocent pigtails were a dangerous combination - not that Beyond Birthday was worried in the slightest._

_"Yeah," he laughed, suddenly childish as he giggled, placing a hand on his own face. "I guess you think we're both cursed, am I right, little girl?"_

_She looked at him defiantly, eyes sparkling with emotion. "Yes," she stated simply._

_"Well, we're certainly **not**," he told her, his intense lust for power and control shining through his words. "We're Gods. And Godesses. Don't you **see**, little girl, we're lucky, we and we alone have been blessed!"_

_A single tear rolled down the unnamed child's (for once, she was **unnamed**!) snow-white cheek. "We have **not** been **blessed**," she hissed, her voice cracking. "I - I hate it! Every second of it!"_

_"Wait - wait, just hear me out," Beyond Birthday bargained. Inside, he was simmering with frustration. How **dare** she not agree with him! How dare she disobey him and go against who she was - who they **both** were... "Honestly, you shouldn't treat this as a bad thing," "he instructed, grasping for dominance of the failing conversation. "You've been born with an astonishing ability. Trying to fight it won't get you anywhere, I know that from personal experience. One day I'm just going to take off. And they won't hear from me again until..." His eyes flashed crimson. "Well, that's besides the point. Now, Wammy wants you to take pills, am I right?" Oh, how he loved it when he was right. Why would he ask whether he was so many times if he didn't enjoy it?_

_"Y-yeah. I take pills," the girl replied._

_"Well, don't listen to 'em, listen to me, I'm in the same situation as you and they tried to make **me** their guinea pig as well. Oh, god, I still remember those horrible little pills... don't take 'em, because they'll drive you round the bend and up the wall - oh, and perhaps even over the edge, too. You see, those pills, they don't **work**, they just bottle it all up inside you until... you can see the colours... you can see the - the numbers..." Beyond shook his head, trying to rid himself of ridiculous - but true - thoughts. For once, he wasn'trying to sweet-talk anybody. He knew those pills had apple extract, which apparently helped - why, he just didn't freaking know- as well as some other nasty chemicals thrown into the mix. They only kept you going for so long, and when you hit puberty or a certain age, they pretty much stopped. Well, that was Beyond's theory, and he was pretty sure he was right... did he mention he liked to be right?_

_"I... I see what you mean," the girl whispered, wringing her hands together, clearly nervous and agitated._

_"Exactly!" Beyond exclaimed, finally getting somewhere with the red-eyed kid. "They repress your true power, don't they?"_

_"Um, I'm not sure what you mean, um, mister? -"_

_"Its Rue, my name is Rue. Pleased to meet you, little girl!" Beyond told her, grabbing her hand and shaking it enthusiastically._

_"Uh, I'm - I'm..."_

_"No, don't say it, don't say it, little girl! I know what you're thinking - you're thinking, how does he know? I can't tell him I've got powers, he thinks I'm enough of a freak already, I may even be making up the fact that he has red eyes just because I just want a friend... am I right?"_

_"I..."_

_"No listen to me! You were born to be a beautiful creature of destruction and power! You were born this way, accept it, no, **embrace** it! It's part of who you are, and you have so. Much. Potential. Do whatever you want, **whenever** you want - 'cause who the hell's going to stop you, no, **us**? Honestly, you have no idea-"  
_

_"LEAVE ME ALONE OR I'LL GO L ON YOU!"_

_Beyond Birthday's eyes widened. He stood there, shocked to the core, as the rage-filled little girl's eyes flashed a bright red before turning back to green - but it was a murky green, confused, tired, sad. She sighed, before turning on her heel and fleeing the scene._

_The red-eyed boy stood alone in the field._

_Alone._

_Oh god, so **alone**._

_People didn't understand his vision of true power and god. They didn't understand that he was right, right, **right**, and that they were **wrong**. He was talking, but no-one was listening. His eyes flashed red._

_**Well, then, he would make them listen**._

* * *

S'S POV

S sighed as she was frogmarched to the IQ testing area - an unused classroom. Thank god Roger hadn't found her snooping around in Mello and Matt's room. She wondered if Mello was okay, whether Matt had needed help getting his best friend to the nurse.

Mello and Matt.

Only the good died young.

She sighed again, and let out a low whistle. "Yo, Roger, how long is this gonna take?" she asked.

"Oh, S," Roger groaned, rolling his eyes, "your grammar really has gone to pot. What would your _brother_ think -"

"_Don't talk about my brother_."

"Why not? It's not like he's dead, he's still here -"

"Oh, what lovely sentiment -"

"-Don't you dare backchat me!" They reached a door at the end of the corridor. "Ah, here we are. Room A12. _Try_ to do well, despite your immature sense of humour -"

"-Do I _look_ like I'm laughing, Roger?"

"_Just stop with the backchat_! Honestly, sometimes you are _so_ like your brother -"

"-shut up!"

"_Get in there and try not to fail_!" The old, battered wooden door slammed behind him.

S was alone. Or, at least, she _thought_ she was alone...

"Settle down, Miss S. Your IQ paper is on that desk over there."

No... it wasn't... it _couldn't be_...

"Come on, S," Jennie Bright snapped, "I haven't got all day, you know, and the only reason I'm here is because we're short-staffed today!"

S bared her teeth into a menacing snarl, and plonked herself down onto the chair with bad grace. It had been a long day already - and it wasn't even lunchtime yet.

"Good," Jennie growled. She was wearing a black skirt-suit today, with a black-and-white checked scarf tied around her long, elegant neck. S could vaguely remember a time when Jennie was a gentle, sweet-natured person who couldn't care less about her own appearance. Those days were clearly gone forever now.

"You may start," an infuriating Jennie told S.

Everything was in monochrome today. Even _Jennie_.

They obviously expected her to fail. Well, she _wasn't_ going to show them. No, not today. She loved books and learning, but she didn't want them to know that. It was just another part that they could analyse and take away from her. And she really didn't give a damn what her intelligence was or needed to be.

But then again... smarts were everything here. And she knew only the top Wammy's kids got to know stuff about L. Sure, Roger might tell her a little bit about her brother because L was her only biological link, but... she wanted to be right in the thick of it. She wanted to know all of the secrets of Wammy's House AND the detective. She grinned suddenly, eyes flashing wickedly. _Okay, Jennie, _she thought. _I'll play along, be the prefect little schoolgirl everyone wants. And give you hell in the process._

* * *

**Author's Note: **Go, S! :D So, some may think this is a long-winded chapter (I honestly don't know, please tell me your thoughts) But I enjoyed writing this chapter. I hope this has answered a few of your questions - and raised a few more to be answered! Get well soon, Mels! I think Rainbow Veins was key because S always talks about seeing "the colours" or "the numbers" bursting forth at unexpected times. We now know that Beyond Birthday feels the same (Love ya, B!). Also, S wanted to make L's world colourful and happy again. The lyrics are so wonderfully innocent and wistful (clearly an Owl City fan) that I couldn't help but incorporate them into L's flashbacks of her childhood. And I think that the "We'd grow up sooner or later" bit really fits with the fact that L and S are growing up and living apart X(

So, please tell me what you think and review. 'Till next time :D


	8. Chapter 8: Crush

**Author's Note: **So here we are again - the EIGHTH upload *can hardly contain glee and rubs hands together in Beyond Birthday-like fashion*. So sorry it took a little while longer than usual, guys. So, I would still like some feedback but I'm so happy that I've got one review as it is. So, onto the next chapter! As you could probably tell, I LOVE writing. So, I'm having fun. I hope the story's going okay for all of you out there who happen to stumble across this little piece. I'll hand you over to a recovering Mello, for now. Enjoy! Oh, and yes, regrettably, I DON'T own _Death Note_, nor do I own _Kuroshitsuji_ (just a reference, not a crossover, you'll see later on) But I _do_ own this FanFic story, _muahahahahahahaha_!

**Beyond Birthday:** *Sighs* Seriously, dude, that was an epic fail. This is my material. Evil laughing is _my_ thing, now give it back!

**Author: **Not a chance in Hell! (and who says I'm a _dude_, anyway? -_-)

**Beyond Birthday: **(insulted) Well, I'll have you know that I'm very popular and well-respected in Hell!

**Author: **(_Seriously_ annoyed now) JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME CONTINUE WITH THE STORY!

**Beyond Birthday:** Okay, _okay_, I'll back off *rolls eyes* (man, this Author is _freaky_!)

* * *

**CHAPTER 8; CRUSH**

MELLO'S POV

Mello's eyes slowly opened to the sound of someone calling out his name.

"Mmmm..." he muttered in the form of a reply. He gasped in surprise as somebody grabbed onto his arm.

"Mel!" Matt exclaimed. "You're back!"

"Um... when exactly did I _leave_?"

"Something fell on you and you passed out. Why the hell didn't you tell me that the filing cabinet had hit you on the head as well? I could've got you to the nurse quicker! Well, I guess it doesn't really matter, now. The nurse says you're gonna be alright."

"Uh... okay."

Mello was still slightly confused about the situation he was in, but his capable mind was waking up once more and everything Matt was telling was beginning to make sense. "Did... did you find the photos I was looking for anyway?" he mumbled to his best friend.

Matt laughed. It was a happy, yet exasperated sound. "Honestly, you think I'm fretting over _them_ when my best mate's just passed out? You're unbelievable sometimes, Mel. Just take a chill pill and relax, we can always find those photos later. Let _me_ lift the heavy stuff next time, though!" Mello reached into his back pocket and pulled out a chocolate bar. Biting pieces off and chewing them thoughtfully, his thoughts returned to the anomaly that was S. Her IQ Test was probably over by now...he pondered on how well she may have performed, and whether she would truly become an heir after all...

...somehow, Mello was kind of okay with that.

Nurse Jones abruptly strode in, her burnt-orange hair tied back in its usual messy bun and her slightly wrinkled face pinched in obvious confusion. "Um," she began, "a fellow student asked if I could give _this _to you." She held out a tiny daisy with a small, make-shift card tied to its snapped-off stem. "I obviously said no for hygenic reasons," she told them all firmly, as if both of them had voiced an opinion that she should done so have for the good of the school, "but they _assured_ me that it was - um, well, washed." She handed it to a silently laughing Matt, who accepted it with trembling fingers.

As soon as Nurse Jones had departed the small hospital wing, Matt starting snickering loudly, handing Mello the flower. Intrigued, Mello flipped open the folded piece of paper tied to it with string. Matt snorted as Mello's eyes widened, taking in the message:

_Get well soon, Blondie_.

"How the hell did _she _find out?" Mello snapped.

"She gave you a flower!" Matt sniggered. "I keep _telling_ you, you're made for each other! Just don't keep the poor girl waiting for _too_ long, Mello."

Mello's eye twitched.

"Honestly, though, think of the wedding photos!" Matt continued, his eyes sparkling mischieviously from behind his goggles.

"_Shut up _-"

"-Though you probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference between either of you -"

"FOR GOD'S SAKE -"

"Just make sure that _she's_ the one one wearing the dress, Mel - "

"-That's it, I'm going to kill you - "

"-KUROSHITSUJI REFERENCE!"

The last part had not been Mello _or_ Matt - no, those two had jumped out of their skins when it had been uttered. A surprisingly upbeat S bounded into the room with the exuberance of an excited labrador puppy.

Matt laughed again. "LOL, what's that when that's at home, S?" he asked her. S sniggered.

"_Duh_, manga slash anime, my red-headed, surprisingly-cute friend!" S exclaimed, her index finger dramatically raised as if "Kuroshitsuji" - or whatever _that_ was - was the best tihng since sliced flippin' bread. Matt coloured slightly at the comment aimed at him, but appeared to forget about it when S clumsily threw her arms around his neck.

Mello couldn't surpress a gasp; what the fu-

S began to laugh again, a jerky, high-pitched, creepy laugh that Mello was beginning to identify as one of her trademark features. "Don't worry, Blondie, I don't fancy your friend!" She winked at him cheekily. Matt's face drained of all colour - he looked as shocked as Mello felt.

"We're - WE'RE NOT TOGETHER!" Mello yelled, his voice cracking. "What - what the fuck gave you that idea?"

"Oh, but Blondie, I never said you did, did I?" S giggled. Mello's ice-blue eyes widened to the point of popping.

"Uh... M-Matt..." he began, but Matt cut him off.

"Honestly, Mel, she probably _was_ insinuating it, knowing her," he laughed. "Don't worry about it."

"B-B-But -"

"Honestly, I don't care! We all know you fancy _S_, anyway -"

"-WHAT?" For once the outburst was not from an affronted Mello, but a shocked S. She took her arms off Matt, and her peculiar green eyes narrowed dangerously. "L had better not hear you say that," She muttered. Her eyes widened as much as Mello's had, and she clamped a hand over her own mouth. "U-uh, I mean..." Mello was completely stumped by her comment. How exactly did she come to know L? And just how well did she know him now?

* * *

S'S POV

_Shit_. _She was __so screwed_.

"_Look_," she began again, her arms folded defensively as she inwardly cursed her own _big mouth_, "I've known L for quite a while now and he's a little bit protective of me (_that's officially the biggest understatement of the millenium so far_, she thought to herself). A-Anyway, I'm sure Matt was just joking. Weren't you, Matt?" Matt nodded, looking positively shocked to the core, as did Mello. "So, Roger told me that as soon as Mello is feeling up to it, you two should see him in his office. Near will be there, as well. As will I. I... I've really gotta go now, I'll catch up with you guys later, I suppose..." she turned to leave, but Matt grabbed hold of her arm.

"Honestly, S, I don't see why you have to go," Matt told her, his eyes kind and warm. "I like anime and stuff sometimes, 'cause they make computer games out of them and all the bright colours make you feel like you're watching a game ... maybe you should fill me in on - what was it called again?"

"Kuroshitsuji, or Black Butler in English," S replied instantly, like she had been busy memorising the single phrase all of her life. Well, she probably had. She loved Kuroshitsuji from the bottom of her heart - especially the tones of _yaoi_ that were always conveniently slipped into the many brilliant chapters and episodes. She looked and Mello and Matt... and couldn't help mentally pairing them up, no matter what their interests in each other were.

She shook her head to clear it of - well, _yaoi_-related thoughts - and began to tell Matt all about Sebastian the Phantomhive butler and his obvious awesomeness.

* * *

NEAR'S POV

It had been an uneventful day for Nate River - so far, anyway.

The only exception was Roger's request for his company as soon as Mello had recovered from his injury. A filing cabinet had fallen on the temperamental blonde, apparently. Near estimated that the probability it had happened due to a fight between Mello and Matt was around 47.6%.

As he neared his room (geddit? oh, whatever) he paused, straining his ears and checking for sounds from behind the closed door - because Mello wasn't the only temperamental blonde residing in Wammy's House anymore. When the silence from within signalled the all-clear, he opened it and lay down on his made bed, not bothering to open his small, navy-blue messenger bag which contained his school-books. Chemistry had been a complete waste of time that day - he was already _way_ ahead of every other pupil in his class apart from Mello, who was a little behind. Mello had spent the day recovering in the hospital wing, so there had been lack of competition for Near. It had been a real shame - a little competitiveness kept things fresh and vaguely exciting.

There was a harsh knock at the door - and an unceremonious S barged in without Near's say-so. "Hey there, Near," she drawled. "Sorry about the dye incident, but the clothes we have to wear are _so_ boring so I decided to take initiative. Mello's ready, so get your butt over to Roger's office. See ya." And with that, the mysterious girl turned on her heel and departed Near's bedroom.

Near shook his head. He hadn't failed to notice that she was still white and trembling. Couldn't everyone see that she needed help? Then again, she seemed to be less paranoid - she'd obviously calmed down a little - but she could always take a turn for the worse once more. Her behaviour was unpredictable - and, dare he admit it to himself - fascinating. It was like studying a toned-down version of Beyond Birthday himself, as she was presenting the same symptoms. No-one else had worked that out yet, or were ignoring it because they didn't want to face the sorry truth.

Hopefully, she could be saved.

He sighed and sat up, taking off his messenger bag. The ridiculously-easy mathematics homework could wait for now. He had an appointment with Roger.

* * *

MATT'S POV

Matt and Mello were hanging around the cold, empty fireplace in Roger's office, waiting for S and Near. Roger was sitting at his desk with his usual serious expression. Matt was leaning casually against the wall, whereas Mello was pacing the floor with clear anxiety.

"What do you think this is all about?" Mello asked.

"I'm not sure, Mel," Matt replied. In fact, he wasn't too worried. Admittedly, he was still relieved that Mello was okay, and that was all that mattered to him right now. Mello, Near and himself were usually called to Roger's office to discuss their places as L's successors - but then why was S coming, as well? And how well did S know L? He didn't want to pry, but he was beginning to get curious. Questions flooded to the forefront of his mind - and he began to understand how Mello was feeling.

S ran into the room collapsed onto one of the rickety wooden chairs facing Roger's desk. "Hey, Roger!" she bellowed.

"Yes, yes, _hello_, S," Roger snapped. Matt's eyes widened in appreciation. Wow, that girl really _was_ brash. _And _proud of it. In fact, she was really great company. Sure, she _was_ attractive, there was no denying it, but Matt didn't really feel that way towards her. His relationship with her felt more like a family-orientated affair rather than the regular schoolmate set-up which came with growing up in Wammy's House. He hadn't known her very long, but he wanted her to stay so he could get to know her a little better. S turned and winked in the general direction of Matt and Mello. Matt grinned waved back slightly, and even Mello produced a grudging smile.

Near drifted in through the door left open by an uncaring S, shutting it behind him, before sitting down on the chair next to S. S smirked and grabbed his arm. Near's eyes widened slightly, and S pulled away, her smirk growing more and more pronounced.

"Well, since we're _finally _all here, let us begin.," Roger told them all. He gestured for both Matt and Mello to take a seat, but they shook their heads, declining the offer. Matt could tell that Mello was too wound up to sit down, and Matt really didn't want to leave Mello considering the questionable state his best friend was in.

"Well, I was originally planning to discuss the outcome of this with S in private, but considering your places at Wammy's, I thought the rest of you ought to be present as well," Roger explained. "I need to tell you all something _vitally_ important."

* * *

MELLO'S POV

_Cut the crap, Roger. Just **tell us**, already._

"Everyone," Roger began once more, speaking each word as if it was painful to say, "S's test results have been taken into account." Mello's eyes widened in surprise, as did everyone's in the room.

"S, you are the new number one."

_SILENCE_.

Number one...

_Number one..._

**_NUMBER ONE..._**

Mello felt like he'd just been punched in the stomach. The shock - the - the shock... he just couldn't take it. After all this time, he - _he was freaking third_?

He felt like he was going to be sick. A strangled noise of distress escaping his mouth, Mello fled Roger's office, deaf to Matt's cries of his name.

* * *

**Author's Note: **So I'm going to end it here, guys :D I was debating about what place in Wammy's House I was going to give to S. I thought about putting her fourth, then third, then second, then first... but then I kept agonising over whether she should be second or first. I decided to completey destroy everyone's dreams, _muahahahahah_- oh, wait, Beyond Birthday told me to stop doing that... :/

Aaaw, poor Mello! And how will Near take this heavy blow? And can S step up to the challenge of becoming the first in line to succeed L? We've stil got a considerable way to go when it comes to the past connections of S...

I called this particular chapter "Crush" because it explores Matt and Mello's feelings for each other and S. And of course, Mello is, unfortunately, crushed by the startling news he has just recieved. Sorry if this is a little shorter than usual, but I wanted to leave you all on a tantalising cliff-hanger! Hopefuly I did that well :) Please rate and review, and thank-you _so_ much for reading! See you next chapter...


	9. Chapter 9: Masks

**Author's Note:** Hello again :D Thank-you so much to my wonderful reviewers, you made my day and made me start writing this even quicker! I'm not saying I don't try my best to upload, but reviews just make me smile and get rid of any doubts or Writer's Block (dun dun DUUN) that I may have previously had. Reviewers and Favouriters, this one's for you! I am so sorry about you getting two updates on this chapter, but I spotted a major mistake! Thank-you for your consideration and patience!

So, anyway, this was quite a difficult chapter to write - poor, poor Mello... After the bombshell of Chapter Eight, I kind of had to pick it up from there... I hope I portrayed each character well, even my Own Character S, who I should know absolutely everything about! :) Honestly, though, this is a very angsty chapter... it was hard to make things interesting, but I promise you, next chapter will have some more stuff going on, a new environment, some wit and everything. Enjoy the chapter...

**P.S: **Oh, and I don't own _Death Note_. I'm just holding it hostage while I'm writing this fic *evil smile*

* * *

**CHAPTER 9; MASKS**

MATT'S POV

"MELLO!"! Matt yelled as a distressed Mello fled the scene, "MELLO! COME BACK, MEL!" The look on Mello's face... Matt would never, _ever_ forget that look...

He wanted to run after his best mate - but he felt frozen to the spot, utterly shocked to the core. He didn't give a damn about his own place in Wammy's house, but Mello cared. Mello cared far too much. Matt had only had to glance at his face to know that the blonde misfit was ultimately crushed. He looked over at S, his friend - S, Mello's destroyer...

...and S looked back at him, or at least was trying to. Her green eyes were unfocused, and she was swaying on the spot. Several beads of sweat appeared on her milk-white brow as she trembled, obviously figthing a losing battle to remain upright. "Nu-_number one_?" she murmured, turning, if possible, even paler. "I-I don't f-feel so g..." Her eyes closed, and she hit the ground with a dull _thud_.

Matt's hands clenched into anxious, frustrated fists. S needed help - but Mello was out there somewhere, and really hurting. Roger jumped up from his chair with the energy of a far younger man, before attempting to prop S up. "It's quite alright, Matt," Roger muttered, checking S's pulse rate. "Go after Mello, I can handle this perfectly fine on my own." Matt nodded vigorously as S began couging, her eyelids fluttering. Assured that S's condition was considerably improving, he ran from the room, determined to comfort Mello.

_So you **do** have a heart, after all, Roger_, Matt thought to himself as he raced frantically throughout the narrow corridors of Wammy's House. _Maybe you ought to show it more often - it would make all of our lives so much easier..._

* * *

NEAR'S POV

Number One.

Nate River's title, _his_ title.

But not anymore. Not now S was here to snatch it from his grasp.

Near couldn't take it, couldn't _comprehend_ it. S was an anomaly, an enigma that he couldn't unravell, a case he couldn't solve. She hadn't done anything to hinder him - and yet she had done _everything _to ensure his complete and utter downfall. When she had signed that Intelligence Test, she had signed away everything Near was or ever would be, stolen his very _essence_. How could his life have been turned upside down so quickly? And when had he started using such cliché phrases?

A bolt of lightning seemed to strike through Near's being - _what was the point in **living** anymore_?

He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose with his small, pale fingers to help relieve his stress and anxiety. _No. I will NOT throw it all away like that_. He couldn't afford to think like that. This was his life - he couldn't end it just because of a fateful test score! It would be illogical and stupid! However... there were consequences to this revelation that were deeply dsisturbing him. he didn't want to sound arrogant, but deep down, he knew that he was innately accustomed to being Number One. He had taken to it like a duck to water (_again_ with the cliché phrases!) and had predicted that he would be at the top forever, nothing more and nothing less... just like L himself. Just like the person he was always meant to be.

He... he... he had...

Near couldn't believe it. He had lost the game.

* * *

S'S POV

"S! Wake up!"

S groaned. She felt like crap, and decided to embrace the protective arms of sleep rather than simply reject them as she normally would have. Just five more minutes...

"S! Can you hear me, S -"

"YES, DAMMIT!" S yelled back, desiring nothing more than to sleep and her temper flaring, "NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!"

There was a sharp intake of breath. S's eyelids flew open to see a startled Roger staring down at her, blinking in shock at her short rant. Her eyes bulged - and her defensive side took over.

"Get the fuck off me!" she snapped harshly, shoving Roger away and cracking her knuckles suggestively. "I've got a mean kick going on for me - and trust me, you _don't_ want to be on the recieving end of one."

"_S_! How _da__re_ you threaten me!" Roger growled, his eagle eyes flashing angrily. "I was trying to revive you! Now, _I think you should go to se the school nurse_. Immediately. And you should also _calm down_ a little before you get yourself into deep, _deep_ trouble." He tried to help her get to her feet, but she vehemently declined, shakily grabbing onto the desk for support - before losing her grip and falling straight back down again.

"Honestly, you're just too stubborn!" Roger sighed exasperatedly. "Near, could you help this _unco-operative_ young lady up?" S looked over to Near, and she surpressed a gasp of disbelief. His odd grey eyes were unfocused, yet shining with intense emotion. _Just like L's eyes_, she thought, but quickly pushed her L-related musings to the back of her mind. Near wasn't twiddling a lock of his bone-white hair - no, he was holding onto one for dear life, his grip strong and fearful.

He was in shock.

His expression and demeanour were a mask, a perfected poker face - but S was good at reading between the lines by now. In her young life, she had met a _lot_ of supposedly "impossible" people. But right now, Near was slipping up - and S could read him like a book. He was scared. Like a little boy would be of the dark - no, _not_ the dark, more of a fear of the unknown; what lay ahead...

She finally dragged herself up from the ground, and put a hand on his pyjama-clad shoulder. He blanched almost violently. "Um... Near?" S enquired with caution. "You okay?"

"U-Uh..."

Near's voice tailed away. For once, he was completely lost for words.

S felt guilt flood into the pit of her stomach. It had finally sunk in - she was Number One. And she had hurt everyone who she gave a damn about - apart from, well, _him_, but that was a completely different story - and especially Mello. She'd even managed to hurt the robot, the impenetrable brick wall that was Near. Why? Why had she done this? She hadn't _meant_ to get such a high score on the test. She was originally aiming for fourth in line, perhaps third because she was sure that Matt wouldn't have minded too much. But... she was subconciously competitive in everything she did, she just couldn't help herself. And she hadn't known Mello or Near's true intelligence levels, so the only way to make sure she was in the top five was to really go for it, and damn the consequences...

...she had done it for _him_ - L. She had done it to see him, to just _hear_ from him - to know that he was alright. But she had hurt her new-found friends in the process. Even _Matt_ would probably avoid her like the plague from now on. She hadn't meant to hurt Mello, but her new status was probably unforgivable to him, and so Matt would follow suit.

_Oh, Matt. I really like you as a friend. I've never had a friend my age before now - and we were just beginning to get closer_...

She took her hand off Near's shoulder, leaving him to wallow and brood - maybe, _just maybe_, the Wammy's boys could pull through and survive this heavy blow. And S needed to give them time to do just that. It wouldn't be easy for them, so she wanted to make the time run as smoothly as possible for them.

S's vision blurred and shifted. Ugh... she felt _terrible_. She needed to go find Mello soon... but she needed to see the nurse, as well. Maybe Mello would be better off with just Matt with him, after all...

* * *

MELLO'S POV

_My life is over._

This is what entered Mello's mind as he stared into the depths of the cracked mirror.

He was barely coping with his title as second-best of Wammy's - and now someone had just swept in and stolen away everything he had worked for all his life...

...why didn't everyone understand - he was damn smart, he was capable of the pressure of becoming L, he wasn't going to do an A on everyone...

_A noose around his neck..._

Mello shuddered violently, his throat burning and tears spilling down his cheeks, blurring his softened blue eyes. He'd already been sick - he couldn't help it, he just felt so nauseated by his new position, the heavy blow that he would probably never escape. He felt like crap - the biggest understatement ever made.

This was the single worst day of his life...

Mello couldn't really remember his parents. He was very young when he entered Wammy's House. They knew that Mello was extremely intelligent from a very early age - and Wammy's seemed ideal for his advanced development. He came to the Institute with Matt, Near and some others, thinking that a little competition would be healthy. They didn't want another repeat of A or B - the effects of such tragic events occuring once again would be disasterous.

Maybe... Maybe Mello resembled B a little... he was far too eager, and deep down, he knew it. But he wanted to be the true successor so _badly_. Whenever he felt himself failing, it made him even more determined to rise to the top. L had once said that he liked Mello's strength of character - but didn't think his emotional side and state of mind were in check. Mello had just felt even angrier, instead of trying to calm down. Though of course _Near_, that fucking robot Near, he had _his_ emotions perfectly under control. He was, undoubtedly, blessed with L's cold, calculating demeanour.

_Why, L_? Mello screamed inside his head as shame-filled sobs overtook his body, _Why am I always second-best? Why do you always prefer Near over me? Don't you care for me even just a little bit? Because - because I care about you_!

"Mel?"

Matt stood in the doorway, breathing heavily as if he had just been running. Mello hadn't noticed him apporaching the bathroom he was currently hiding out in. Mello collapsed onto the closed toilet seat, his expression contorted with misery and weariness.

"Look... just... just leave me alone for a bit, Matt, will you?" Mello muttered as if he couldn't care less - but his voice kept cracking and more tears waiting to be shed were welling up in his eyes.

"Mello..." Matt breathed, as if he was shocked by Mello's current state. He tried to put an arm around Mello but Mello shoved him away, nostrils flaring angrily.

"_No_, Matt! I don't need your pity!" he growled. "Just - just _go away_, will you? I need some time to myself for once. I mean, it's going to be hard - y'know, being _third_ and all..." Mello scrubbed at his eyes furiously, internally begging himself to stop crying and blurting out crap he didn't mean. He wanted Matt to stay! He needed his best friend! But he didn't want to be _weak or defenceless_. He wanted - no, _needed_ - to be strong...

"Look, Mel," Matt began, "I know how much being top is important to you, and I know there's little you can do about it, because it's _you_, you're the brilliant one, the ambitious one, the strong one. But S didn't mean it and -"

"-How do you know she didn't!" Mello snapped in between an unexpected torrent of sobs. "She's - she's taken every freaking thing away from me, Matt, and I-I'm stuck being not even second-best anymore, _no_, because that would be far too - too _easy_! I'm third! Fucking third! And - and it makes me feel _sick to my stomach_." He covered his face with his trembling hands, not wanting Matt to see him like this.

"Well, I was third!" Matt reminded him, though not in a bitter manner. "And now I'm fourth. Honestly, mate, it's not that bad -"

"-Of course it fucking is!"

"Well, _fine _then, believe that if you want, it's just -" Matt stopped mid-flow, as if trying assemble his words carefully. "It's just that I wanted to make it all better again," he continued, "and - and I know how stupid that sounds and I don't blame you for thinking that, it _is _stupid, but I can't see someone I love becoming so miserable without doing something about it! So yell at me if it makes you feel better, in fact, you can fucking_ hit_ me if it eases the pain -"

Mello suddenly let out a strangled cry and threw his arms around Matt's neck, burying his tear-stained face in the crook of the red-head's shoulder. "_I'm sorry_," Mello whispered.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Mello," Matt reassured him. "I'm here - whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me."

"N-no, I really mean it," Mello gasped between sobs, "I-I'm sor-"

"I've already told you, _don't_ be," Matt interjected, rubbing soothing circles on Mello's back. "Honestly, Mel... everything's going to be okay..."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Aaaw, Mattie made a heartfelt, emotional and probably _really_ _corny_ speech! XD So sorry, guys, I'm a MelloxMatt fangirl, what can I say? I had to slip in something like this, it's in my nature. Don't worry, I won't turn this into a romance, unless any of you _really_ want me to. Besides, they're a little young for it right now, anyway. This small scene can be interpreted in different ways. MxM fangirls can think what they like, and other people can think what they like. Oh, and the ideas I had for naming this particular Chapter? Well, everyone kind of slips up and reveals a different side of themselves, even _Roger_. Don't worry though, he hasn't gone soft, he still hates children!

And the other masks that slipped - S finally felt guilty about pushing the boundaries of her already-tenuous relationships too far, Near was finally at a loss for words and was rendered completely powerless, Mello pretty much had a breakdown, and, well, Matt - you can either interpret it as him admitting something important involving Mello to himself, or a slip in being so joking and laid-back to ending up showing a more serious side. Or, both! Or something completely different! It's totally up to you!

So anyway, I had fun writing the end of this chapter, in a melodramatic kind of way (oh, the drama! 8D). Please tell me what you think, sorry if it was a little boring for you all!

**Bye for now, and thank-you so much for reading, especially this long Author's Note! Please review :D**


	10. Chapter 10: Dreams Of Lead And Gold

**Author's Note:** YAAAAAAAAAY! HAPPY (Beyond) BIRTHDAY, SWAMP EYES! ARE YOU GUYS ALL READY TO CELEBRATE? *Crickets*

**(Please feel free to ignore this weird paragraph)**...Oh, well. *Sighs* _I know, I know_, I shouldn't be so excited about my mediocre story reaching such a tiny, insignificant milestone, but I honestly didn't think I'd get this far when I first started developing my ideas for this story. I didn't want to make a One-Shot when I originally signed up for FanFiction, NO, because that would have been too normal and reasonable. I had to lumber myself with an entire story! Well, at least that's what I _think_ I should be thinking. BECAUSE IN FACT I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY FELT BETTER. Seriously. Honestly, guys, this is great! Just one review makes me so happy, reviews make my day, and I don't really give a damn if people think that's kind of sad. So, this isn't a Magnum Opus. So what? I try my best, don't I? :D So thanks, you guys, for giving me the confidence to stick with this and keep on writing!

_**(**_**I'm back on track over here, people!) **_Aaaanyway_, enough of my long-winded, self-centred ramblings, and on with the story...

Mello's had a nasty shock along with a literally speechless Near. S is now the new Number One (dun dun DUUUN!) and so is ranked top of the prestigious (and not to mention infamous) Wammy's House peking order. How will the Wammy's boys cope? Can they pull it together? And how long before we discover the rest of the skeletons lying dormant in S's (metaphorical XD) closet? Let's see if we can unravell some truths... Once again, I do not own _Death Note _OR_ Kuroshitsuji_. And sorry if you think S's fashion in this chapter is _so_ not like her character. What can I say, I kind of like the style and I think it suits her. If you have an inkling of an outfit that would suit her better, or what her style could possibly be like, **I'd be happy to take all of your ideas on board for the coming chapters**. I don't want to follow the crowd in the things I do every day, but feedback is important to me, and I'd love your input. I respect all your ideas and decisions :D So, take it away, S! Oh, and sorry for the long Author's Note this time, by the way...

* * *

**CHAPTER 10; DREAMS OF LEAD AND GOLD**

S'S POV

There was no way of getting around it, not that she really wanted to...

She had hurt her friends. The ones she was meant to care for, to protect, to show true, heartfelt kindness to.

...And now she was going to have to take her first fricking class sitting next to Mail Jeevas himself.

Nurse Jones had discharged her from the medical wing of Wammy's whilst casting doubtful looks in her direction. S had merely stared back, her eyes growing as wide as a bush baby's, her hands shovelling her portable supply of chocolate into her mouth to keep herself up and about. The numbers were coming back... she couldn't take seeing those wretched numbers for much longer...

She now stood at the doorway of the classroom, her green eyes bright and her cheeks flaring. She'd accquired new clothing since the dye incident - Wammy's children could wear mostly what they wanted, and buy extras using their allowance (which was quite frankly a ridiculous amount). S was currently wearing a black skirt, a white button-down shirt, a black waistcoat with coat-tails, a black French beret and a pair of black military-style boots. She wouldn't have minded wearing something, well, a little more outlandish, but they were probably _very_ close to throwing her out of Wammy's as it was so she'd decided to play it safe just for today.

And there he was. Matt. The boy who she had befriended and then inadvertently betrayed.

S summoned up her courage and reminded herself of who she was - who she wanted to leave behind, and who she wanted to _be_ - before walking through to the classroom, shutting the door behind herself, pulling up a chair and sitting down next to the intelligent red-headed boy. She undid the clasp of her new Black Butler messenger bag (with Sebastian grinning wickedly at her from his place on the flap) with shaky fingers. She was steeling herself for the lengthy, awkward silence to come when suddenly -

"H-hey, S."

S's head snapped up in surprise. He was actually saying hi?

Matt appeared to grow bolder. "Nice outfit," he continued, his eyes calm but expectant behind the yellow goggles. "I take it they didn't approve of all the red from before?"

S's mouth dropped open in utter shock. _She just couldn't believe it_. Now he was paying her a casual compliment like it was as easy as breathing! Like they had known each other for years!

"I- I-" S didn't know how to respond. Did he really want to continue geting to know her? Was this just too good to be true? She was about to answer Matt, when suddenly -

There was a huge bang as the door swung open again, hitting the dull white wall in the process. A fierce Mello barged into the classroom, bangs angrily whipping around like blonde flames. He pulled up a chair next to his best friend Matt, still not appearing to notice S, sat down and slammed his history textbook down onto the desk as if the table was Near's bone-white face. _Or quite possibly **mine**_, S gulped as she tried to slow her heartbeat down.

_Okay_, S told herself, trying to calm down and keep in control, _Just don't draw attention to yourself no matter what. He's bound to notice you **sometime**, but maybe if you keep quiet, he'll find the strength to ignore you - and that would definitely be for the best right now..._ She attempted to tune out the sound of Mello getting berated by the history teacher, Mr. Izzington, for being so shamelessly late. It was horrible to listen to, and even harder to watch. Mello's head was dipped submissively, his hair touching the table, his strong shoulders hunched and drooping in defeat. S sighed. There was yet _more_ trouble in store for the unlucky Mello if he didn't keep his temper in order... but the latest news seemed to have taken all of the fight out of him, all of his aggression, all of his constant drive to succeed...

Mello's head snapped up as a pompous Mr. Izzington strode purposefully away - and his eyes met hers.

* * *

MELLO'S POV

And there she was. Sitting next to Mello's best - and _only_ - friend, staring back at him like he was some creepy animal in a zoo.

Her name was S. Or, at least, she _said_ that her name was S. He didn't know a single thing about her. All he knew was that she had taken away his pride, his hopes, his dreams, his whole damn _future_. He felt some his old temper and strength begin to sear through his veins once more. Right now, he felt like dragging her to the dojo and having a one-on-one showdown session. Mello was a born fighter - maybe a little rough when it came to skillfulness, but as far as his raw agression, power and determination was concerned, he was treated as a pro; a guy _not_ to be messed with.

S quickly turned away from the vengeful new Number Three, avoiding his burning gaze. Matt smiled, and touched her arm with apparent tentativeness. She looked up, and grinned a little back at him.

Mello silently seethed with bubbling, white-hot rage as Mr. Izzington droned on and on. Was Matt just being polite like he was to Near and other people? Or did he _really_ still like the girl? _Are_ _- are you on **her** side instead of mine, Matt_? Mello thought. _Because I don't think I could take that..._

He quietly hissed in annoyance and shook his head, trying to clear his head and concentrate on the few dwindling remnants left of the history lesson.

* * *

Mello, sighed, rolling his eyes and tapping his fingers impatiently. The lesson seemed to last for hours on end. There was no point in even attending this stupid class, except maybe to keep Matt company. They were studying the Nazis, for god's sake! He'd already known most of this stuff when he was six and a half or something! He needed a good _challenge_ to rise to, he needed true recognition of his extensive knowledge that appeared to rival few. _Maybe I should just leave, now,_ he thought to himself angrily.

Until he noticed something.

_Near_.

He was absent.

As a rule, Near turned up to every single lesson possible, a creepy clockwork affair that always seemed to make him five minutes earlier than Mello for absolutely everything, including mealtimes. Near stole up like a ghost, sweeping in with simple yet ominous corrections to Mello's confident answers. And now he wasn't here - Mello was _Second_ once more.

His eyes brightened as he brushed his curiosity regarding Near's whereabouts aside. A little competition with S couldn't hurt - it was what he had always done with Near...

_Game on, S. Game on._

Mr. Izzington started to talk about an essay about Nazi propaganda - _ridiculously_ easy. But now Mello finally had something to work towards, a goal to achieve. Maybe the odds would be in his favour if he put everything into this essay...

...but alas, his hopes of beating S in a battle of brains were interrupted by a flustered Roger bursting through the door.

"S! Mello! Matt!" he called out as the other students twisted around in their chairs to stare. "I have an urgent request! Pack away your things, you won't be back in time to continue with the lesson. Well, don't just _stand_ there," he sighed exasperatedly as the three successors snapped out of their stupor, "get going! You'll see just how important this is when you get to my office!"

Mello's eye twitched in annoyance as he packed his black-and-white checkered pencil case away, shoving his stationery and textbooks into his black shoulder-bag. Roger had referred to them in their ranking order. S first, Mello second, Matt third... he was sure that if Near had been present in the classroom, Mello himself would have come third in that particular list...

"Come _on_, Mello, stop with your constant daydreaming!" Roger snapped. Mello blinked, and realised that Matt and S were already packed and ready to go. "We'll pick Near up on the way," Roger continued. "Let's get going."

* * *

NEAR'S POV

He just couldn't get out of bed.

Nate River, the former Number One, the bright boy who attended every single class available at the prestigious Wammy's House...

...couldn't care less anymore.

He didn't need an alarm - his body-clock was always on the dot when it came to waking up early in the morning. And today it had worked as accurately as always, but Near... well, Near didn't really feel like Near anymore. a great, tiring misery had encapsulated his entire being, engulfed him in its dark embrace. And no, he had not cried.

Near didn't cry. Ever. End of story.

But still, he felt depressed, weakened, defeated. The brilliance in his mind was still there, but the intelligent, dangerous and sometimes even malicious glint in his eyes was simply... lost. There was a chance it still existed... but whenever he tried to grab hold of a string of life, of reason, of sweet, sweet logic, it abruptly snapped and he was back to square one once more.

Number One...

That used to be _him_ with that top spot.

Near was dull inside, _dead_ inside. His heart was as heavy as lead, hopelessly weighed down by sorrowful, resigned feelings that blocked out the flowing spring of life.

His thoughts were interrupted by the creak of his door opening. He turned on his side to face the wall, still wrapped and lost in the sea of whiteness that was his duvet (and, much more importantly, his mind), trying to think of a lie, a reasonable explanation for his unexpected behaviour. His mouth opened to say something, but despite Near's best efforts, no sound came out.

"N-Near?" an obviously-astounded Roger murmured. "Why are you still in bed?"

Near coughed a little, and muttered: "I appear to be a little ill. That is all. I will of course get up now, since you obviously have something important to tell me." It was mostly true. Near _was_ becoming a little ill - the teacher had sat him next to Pixel in the last science test. Pixel was a shy young girl who didn't particularly live up to her codename - she was pretty much useless when it came to anything techincal, was extremely dreamy and kept doodling scenes from her favourite romance novels into the back of her notebook instead of listening to what the teachers had got to say. She had been suffering from a nasty cold on the day of the science test. _Well, she shouldn't have been dancing about in the rain all on her own like some idiot_, Near thought calmly and emotionessly.

His mind snapped back to the present, and he shot out from under the covers, scampering away like a shy forest animal. He was glad for his white pyjamas - he never slept topless like Matt and Mello because he was very self-conscious of other people seeing his body.

After he had changed into his usual unispiring attire, Near shuffled outside the quiet sanctuary of his bedroom to find Roger, who was tutting impatiently and checking his tarnished silver watch, Mello and Matt, who were playing a rather agressive (well, certainly on Mello's part) game of Rock Paper Scissors, and seemingly-unsettled S, who was simply standing still and looking - well, incidentally, quite nice. Her latest outfit suited her - _wait a minute, what was he saying_? That piece of information had nothing to do with the current situation...

"Ah, Near, at last," Roger sighed. "Come along, now, we've got to hurry to my office. I can't say anything in the open - there's a slight chance that people might be listening to us." He shoved the four of them along the narrow corridors, muttering darkly about "kids messing up his busy schedule". Near surpressed an exasperated sigh - and looked over at the newest successor to L, the peculiar girl named S. Her eyes were wide and bambi-big, her mouth slightly open, giving off the impression that she was hurtling through a dark tunnel. There was a look of enlightenment gracing her features, which puzzled Near.

What was she suddenly so worked up about now?

* * *

S'S POV

It couldn't be...

...could it?

No no no no no, she didn't _dare_ to dream that...

_But - was he here? Was he really here?_

The five of them arrived outside of the office. One of them, Roger, opened the old, scratched wooden door, which creaked in protest. S closed her sparkling green eyes, trying to slow her heartbeat for the second time that day.

Mello, Matt and even the shyly shuffling Near had already entered the office. She heard a muffled gasp from Mello as she opened her eyes once more. The flickering ghost of a smile played on her lips. It was a long-shot - but for now, she wanted to entertain herself with daydreams of getting to meet... getting to meet _him_ again...

S stepped into the doorway of the office -

- and the shocking flashbacks took hold of her mind, she couldn't think, she couldn't make sense of anything anymore...

...all she could see were her golden childhood dreams, precious memories drenched in a dizzying sepia haze. Breezy fields of corn; a calm, crystal-clear river where she laughed and played; pink tartan dresses and dungarees with a sunflower symbol printed on the back; and... him. Him and him alone. The closeness she felt next to him, the strong love flowing through her young yet burdened heart no matter what. In that single enlightening moment, she realised that no matter how many times she tried to leave the past behind...

...S would always be that little girl.

Her eyes closed, savouring the warmth and joy of his embrace, his shining eyes, his carefree smile. It was sheer effort and strength of will that deterred herself from crying outright. Her heart singing with the feeling of homecoming, the realistation of this bittersweet reunion, she stared right into those intriguing, anomalous dark eyes, searching for answers, looking for love.

One word crossed her mind. The doubt already blooming in her heart turned that simple word into a tentative question.

_Nii-chan_?

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well, I'm going to leave it there! Hmm, so, the meaning behind the Chapter name. Well, Near's in a state of complete and utter recluse, his sometimes fragile heart heavy with leaden feelings, dreaming of nothing yet wishing to stay in bed all day. S, on the other hand, is revisiting vivid and colourful childhood memories, filled with the golden emotion that is occasionally associated with nostaliga. Oh yeah, and I've been studying the Merchant Of Venice by the brilliant Wiliam Shakespeare. The Casket Scene must have got to me...

Sorry if the Chapter ending was really corny and long-winded! The drama will ensue next Chapter (omg I'm getting excited about writing all that)! How can S keep the secret safe? And maybe having _him_ around (still not saying his name aloud - I know you probably all know who he is, but I still want to save it for next Chapter XD Yes, I'm annoying with my attention to completely useless detail) will unlock yet more secrets about Miss S... and note how she calls him "Nii-chan" even though she isn't Japanese... **Thank-you so much for reading, and see you next Chapter!** Oh, and please review, I'd like to hear all your thoughts! I'm still not a very good writer and I've got a lot to learn, as you can probably tell, so reviews would be great... (Aaargh, _another_ long Author's Note! So sorry...)


	11. Chapter 11: Bittersweet

**Author's Note:** Hi there again! It's me again with the eleventh upload! And yes, he's back at Wammy's House! Welcome back, S's big bro! Sorry if he seems a little OOC in this chapter - but having a younger, seldom-seen sibling is bound to change him a little bit. I hope you enjoy this particular Chapter. I'm not good at picking back up on cliffhangers, but I tried my best. I also realise that this is a shorter - and later - Chapter than usual. My apologies :/ Take a look and see if you like it! Please review - I need feedback and guidance if I want to improve! Oh, and once again, I don't own _Death Note_.

Enjoy :D

**P.S:** I'm sorry this Chapter's a little boring - it's mostly monologue, dialogue and body language - **but remember the scene with Near, L and the CD player? **Well, now we get to pick back up on that! Let's see what Near did next in a little while... Oh, and there's another flashback! Please bear with me if you don't like them, it'll all start to make sense, I promise you! Sorry if this isn't very well edited, I'm running late! Aaargh, stress! XO Don't worry, I'll be alright! :)

* * *

**CHAPTER 11; BITTERSWEET**

L'S POV

Swamp Eyes.

You could get lost in those eyes. And now, L Lawliet himself, the legendary detective, the epitome of solitude and cold, logical analysis, was already jumping headfirst into that emerald ocean without realising.

The first emotion he felt was instinctive happiness and completion. He had not seen her, felt her presence for so long... Her true name had not passed his lips during the lengthy stretch of time they had spent parted. Now they were together again, and balance had been restored to the world. Things were finally _right_ again - a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

Shock poisoned his system as he took in her entire appearence. How long had it been since he had seen this bright young girl, his beloved sibling? Already, her looks were evolving into the appearance of an independent woman. She... had curves. _Oh dear god_, she was wearing... she had... well, let's just say a fuller chest. His mind skittishly backtracked with panicked internal cries of _too soon! Too soon!_

Where had all of the time gone?

But then a smile dangerously threatened to show, and he bit it back down. She was beautiful - a living doll. Milk-white skin, blonde hair flowing in the slight breeze caused by Roger's open window... The way she held herself was strong, yet - dare he say it - demure. Oh, and she was nothing like him - she was blessed with her father's blonde hair, and her grandmother's unique green eyes. Those eyes! They were exactly as he remembered them, glittering emeralds, twins in every respect; sparks of yellow suspended forever in their inviting depths.

She was no longer little, but she was still his girl.

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes with difficulty. _It must be because I'm back home and back at school_, he mused. _There was a time when I had a great passion for poetry and literature. And she always stirs emotions in me that I thought were never there. I can't believe I'm spouting so many sentimental lines right now - but she was always the special case. She was always the exception to every rule... _

He then ripped his eyes away from the enchanting sight of his younger sister, and studied the appearances of Wammy's young male successors.

Mello was staring back, shock and awe written all over his emotional face.

Laid-back Matt was smiling, his eyes twinkling welcomingly under his yellow goggles.

And Near...

_Near_...

...had the recent news broken that internally-fragile boy?

L's wintry eyes filled with warmth. He heard a sharp intake of breath from S. He turned back to her, and his eyes continued to glow with powerful, conflicting emotions.

_So we meet again, sister_.

* * *

S'S POV

There was a long silence. S continued to probe L's expression, and- and-

- Was there warmth in those cold eyes? Did he reciprocate her feelings?

L appeared to clear his throat, and murmured: "Hello. Good to see you all again." He nodded to each of them in turn. S's stomach did anxious backflips - but surely he was just politely acknowledging them all and being fair so the others wouldn't get suspicious?

She squeezed her eyes shut in dissapointment as she remembered that L also knew Mello, Matt and Near quite well. Maybe they were like family to him, too? But S was selfish; and boy, did she know it. She didn't want to share her brother, not now, not when he'd only just arrived back into her chaotic life...

She shook her head and chided herself for being so blatantly childish, even if they were only thoughts and not actions. There had now been a lengthy stretch of silence enveloping the entire room.

"L... _L_... I-It's good to see you again, too!" Mello whispered, obviously trying hard to contain his delight in seeing his mentor once more. L nodded once more, a flicker of a smile playing on his lips. "B-but... I thought you didn't have time to see us this time around!" Mello continued.

"Well, I solved the particular case a lot quicker than I'd previously thought," L explained. "I was still in England, so I decided to return to Winchester to see you all. I trust your studies are going well?"

S gulped. _Just **talk** to me, L. Look me in the eyes again - spill the secrets, let me know everything about you once more..._

* * *

MATT'S POV

"They're going alright, L," Matt replied nochalantly. _**Sheesh**, what is **up** with everyone today?_ he thought. _You could cut the tension in the room with a knife..._

"Come on, Mel, I've got to show you my new DVDs," Matt muttered in a tone that Mello would hopefully identify as urgent. Mello turned around to face him, his eyes wide in apparent disbelief.

"What the hell are you talking about, Matty?" He asked. "L's only just got here!"

"-Actually, I was hoping to discuss something with Roger," L interjected. "After that, I will go and see Wammy, who is currently unpacking the suitcases. I'll catch up with my successors later, if that's alright with the four of you." Near nodded almost instantly, and swiftly padded out of the office, his head ducked down. He pushed the door open, not bothering to shut it. It creaked on its hinges, before harshly swinging shut of its accord.

Matt sighed, pulling up his yellow goggles to rest atop his head. He blinked, confused over the whole situation. What was wrong with Near? And just how far did L and S go back?

"Let's get going," Matt whispered to his best friend, taking his arm and gently pulling him to the door.

When they were both in the corridor outside Roger's office, Matt leant up against the dull-white wall, rolling his eyes. "_Why_ - why can't people say what they mean for once instead of hiding it from the rest of the world?" he mused aloud, more to himself than to Mello.

"What do you mean?" Mello asked, ripping the packaging off yet another beloved chocolate bar.

"Mello," Matt sighed, "I thought you were meant to be a genius! Didn't you _feel_ the tension in that room? And to be completely honest, I think L and S are..." he tailed off mid-sentence, deep in thought.

"They're _what_, exactly?" Mello snapped, obviously still hurting due to his abrupt demotion.

"I think... I think that... well, maybe they're..."

"C'mon, Matt, just spit it out," Mello encouraged, his curiosity seeming to outweigh his hurt pride.

Matt shook his head. _No_. That couldn't possibly be it. L and S... the couldn't be related to one another, they just _couldn't_. They looked so different from each other, like they were from different planets. Even their posture and stance contrasted. L was an orphan - he had no blood relatives left to him...

But... Matt couldn't escape his gut feeling. Maybe, _just maybe_, L and S's connection could be biological. But Matt wouldn't bother mentioning this gut feeling to anyone else, because he felt stupid for thinking about it in the first place. How was it even possible? S had to be a _lot_ younger than L, and L lived and worked alone. If he'd had siblings, _proper_ siblings, maybe his social skills would've turned out a little better...

The red-head sighed. He was _so_ not used to analysing things! Well, maybe awesome, addictive computer games were the exception. Mello growled in frustration at his companion's silence.

"Fine, then, mister melodramatic!" he huffed. "I'm going back to our room. When you can be bothered to talk to me, I'll be waiting." And with that, the blonde stormed away flicking his shiny curtain of hair in the process. Matt tried to contain his laughter. _Matt_ was mister melodramatic?

_Mello_dramatic. The key was in the name! Plus, it would be a great new nickname for Mello... Matt smirked, his eyes sparkling with mischief. Now _there_ was something that deserved his time and brain power...

* * *

NEAR'S POV

Near sat on the weathered picnic bench, still wearing his messenger-bag, staring up at the blue sky.

So. L had a sister.

It hadn't been too hard to figure out. The way they stared at each other, their body language... there were even little similarities or at least connections in their appearances and behaviour. Sure, L's eyes were a steely grey - but S's eyes held that same hard gaze when she grew defensive. They also both showed high levels of intelligence - shown by L, of course, being _L_, and S scoring exceptionally well on her first Intelligence Test on record.

And then there were the things that Near had found out quite a while ago.

Like the file at the back of Roger's locked drawer. Like the photographs that Near was sure L wasn't aware of.

Like the eyes that peeked out of the photographs, a pair of slate-grey and a pair of startling green.

Near closed his eyes and shook his head, wearied by the whole situation.

_An entire childhood held under lock and key..._

He got up from his seat on the picnic bench as a sudden wave of restlessness overtook him. He ran through the spring daisies, still stubbornly barefoot, remembering the day L had given him the CD player. Maybe the CD player had belonged to S? Maybe they had both listened to songs together, different songs to the shyly-hidden Mindless Self Indulgence CD now waiting to be played in Near's dormitory...

He almost slipped on the sprinkled dew on the fresh green grass as he scurried down the hill, down to the lake. He had taken the photographs from Roger some time ago. Roger never seemed to open the forbidden drawer anyway. As if it didn't really exist after all...

Near finally reached the lake, almost slipping into its sparkling waters as his feet slid on the wet grass for a second time. He opened his messenger-bag, taking out the swiped pictures he had retrieved from his bedroom beforehand.

He flipped through them all, his small, paper-white hands shaking in either anxiety or anticipation - he couldn't tell. He was about to flip through the photographs again when he spotted it - the key to this eerie place of memories.

The picture was taken in the daylight. A summery ghost of the past stared out from the photograph, emerald eyes large and curious. It was a blonde-haired little girl, standing in the shallowest part of the Wammy's Estate's lake, holding a doll with ginger pigtails. She looked so young; and so _happy_. S was free from the burdens of the life she had right nowe. What were those burdens? Who was the girl behind those devastating eyes?

Near was a successor to L; he knew that he had no right to pry into the older orphan's past life. But... this was a puzzle. Near was going to be a detective one day (he would _not_ let S remain in the top spot for a single moment longer!), and loved cases that were difficult to crack.

He felt the faith in himself blossom forth once more.

He was going to solve this puzzle. He was going to win the game. And he was going to diagnose S, successfully assessing her situation before treating her accordingly - which would ultimately save her from herself.

There was no time to lose.

* * *

S'S POV

_"Dance with me, Nii-chan!"_

_The golden-haired little girl with a pale, serious face tugged on her older brother's hand._

_"N-not right now, beautiful," the boy told her, a rather sheepish look on his face. "I'm studying at the moment. Go and see if Jennie's not busy." He suddenly seemed to remember something. He looked up from his Latin textbook and placed a gloved hand on her skinny shoulder. "Did you meet any new people, honey?" he asked his beloved younger sibling._

_"Um, no, I didn't, actually," S stated firmly. She'd learnt to lie from the master._

_The red-eyed boy... she had left him alone in the empty field. He'd actually looked like he was about to cry..._

_Had she really been that mean to him?_

**_No_**_, she told herself firmly. The red-eyed boy had been way too forceful, too desperate, too clingy. Even with her substantial lack of years, she knew that strangers who acted that way were probably best left alone - especially when they confronted little kids. She shivered. She knew horrible things happened, out there in the big wide world, but she didn't know details. All she knew was to stay away. And then she would be happy with her big brother._

_Her big brother. Yes. **He** was the one she was supposed to be thinking about. She needed to make him stay._

_"Why were you sad today, Nii-chan?" she asked him, a touch of tentativeness in her voice._

_"I wasn't sad," he snapped back almost immediately. There was hurt in his grey eyes._

_"O-okay," S whispered. "I-I just want to know that I'd hate it if you left me behind..." She could feel the tears coming. Would he leave her? Was he thinknig about going away? Would she ever see him again._

_Horrible thoughts buzzed around her head like an angry wasps' nest, and salty, hot tears began to streak down her face. She turned around, ready to hurtle away from her irritable Nii-chan -_

_-until his hand grabbed hers._

* * *

L'S POV

_Maybe he should have let her go. Maybe he needed to teach her to be strong._

_But he was an idiot and he adored his sister._

_He grabbed her hand to stop her from leaving him, and held her close._

_She was such a beautiful little girl. He could never really deny her anything for too long. He didn't... He didn't..._

_...goddammit, he didn't want to leave her! He loved her so much that it **hurt**. How could she be taken away from him? How could he flee her wide, accusing eyes? How would he leave her behind? How could go on living without her by his side?_

_He - he was the worst person in the world. The guilt became an unswallowable lump in his throat, and a sudden torrent of tears spurted from his tortured eyes._

_"N-Nii-chan?" S whispered._

_"Shh," he hushed. "It'll be alright."_

_"W-will you leave me, N-Nii-chan?" the little girl sobbed._

_L's chest tightened painfully. But he had to tell her the truth, it was the only possible way._

_"I'm going..." he somehow managed to choke out, "...a-and I want you to know that I'm doing this for you... I've been called in... and it's a major case. It's far too dangerous for you to come along with me, as much as I want you to. They want me to leave Wammy's but they don't think I can take care of you all on my own-"_

_"-**What?**"_

_"-I know, I know, it's stupid. I'd do anything for you, I wouldn't just **dump** you, who could ever do that? I- I know what it's like to have responsibility! I'm not some bored, hormonal teenager with nothing better to do! I want you to be with me, I don't want to miss out on you growing up!" The words had spilled out of his mouth before he had successfully stopped them. "But I'm going to prove my capabilities," he continued in a determined voice, "so they will recognise my maturity and we can be together again." He closed his eyes and held the girl in his arms closer still._

_S started sobbing quietly. He made more shushing noises and stroked her shining blonde hair, a soothing, repetitive motion that was a fail-safe way to calm her down. L was never this affectionate with anyone - but it felt like he could only ever be himself when he was in the company of his younger sibling. He had Wammy, but L had known S since birth - he loved and cared for her like no-one else._

_This moment; it was so **bittersweet**._

_S finally started hiccuping, as if she was attempting to calm herself down. L opened his eyes and looked down at his sister. "When do you leave, Nii-chan?" she asked, her intense, emotional eyes still sparkling with unshed tears._

_"...When summer ends," he whispered back, kissing her milk-white forehead._

* * *

"-L!" Roger sighed, resisting to roll his eyes from his place at his desk. "Are you even listening to what I've got to say? I thought you wanted to talk to me, but all you do is stare out of that window and say nothing at all!"

L snapped out of his deep reverie. "I- I apologise, Roger," he muttered. "I merely wanted to discuss..." he cast around his brilliant mind for the other subject that had been bothering him. "...Near and Mello's current disposition," he finished firmly.

"Ah, _yes_... Near and Mello," Roger murmured, steepling his fingers. "I do think that the sudden shift in rankings has taken its toll on them both. Mello's outburst was certainly more explosive, from what I've heard, but Near... well, Near has been acting rather oddly of late. I'm sure Near will find his feet again soon enough, however, and I'm sure Mello will pull through and adjust with the help of Matt. Matt doesn't really seem to mind at all, though. It's rather worrying. Then again," he sighed, "that's how he's always been, really. To be honest, I thought you wanted to discuss the matter of-"

"-My sister?" L interjected, quirking an eyebrow in a very S-ish sort of way. He was proud to say it out loud, now that he was in the company of someone who already knew a substantial amount of his past.

"Well, I have to admit, L, I was shocked about S's Intelligence Test scores," Roger confided in him, a touch on unease in his stern voice. "she is extremely capable, but..."

"...you are worried about the unpredictable breakdowns she suffers from," L finished for him.

"Well... yes, I suppose..."

"Do not worry yourself, Roger. I am fully aware of them, and I know she is in a very fragile state. But she needs to have a relatively normal life. I think Wammy's can give her that. She has been here before, so she is probably mostly at home in her surroundings. Just give her support and understanding, and you can reduce the number of episodes. She needs friends her own age to get along with - you can learn from past mistakes and help develop her social skills as weill as her intellectual abilities."

L sighed. He'd only just got here. After a couple of days, he would be off again;. The thought of leaving her was impossible to bear - but he wasn't so sure about taking her with him this time. S needed an education; she had been in and out of his care for some time now, and needed some stability in her chaotic life.

"So, it's settled, then," L stated, not turnning it into a question. "S will continue on at Wammy's House for now. Thank-you for accepting her. I assure you that she is a talented, charming young girl once you get to know her. You will not regret this decision." He stood up and offered his snow-white hand. Roger, looking thoroughly puzzled, also stood up before awkardly shaking L's hand.

L didn't like touching anyone if he could help it, and wasn't one for traditions. But there was no denying it; he took the job of caring for S _extremely_ seriously.

* * *

**Author's Note****:** I think I'll leave it there, everyone. Did I do alright when I wrote the angsty hug scene? I really need tips whenever I do emotional scenes, so please review, I'd love some input! So, S - her future his uncertain, but still a lot brighter than before now her brother is temporarily back in her life. I'll see you next time, when we'll start focusing on Beyond Birthday a lot more (:D). Wow! We've got a battle of brains between Matt and Near for once, and they don't even know it yet. Well, as they say, ignorance is bliss...

**See you next time! Thank-you so much for reading!**

**P.S:** I'm also working on a Beyond Birthday One-Shot, so look out for it if you're interested. It reminds me a lot about this story, Swamp Eyes, so I thought I might put this message on at the end of this Chapter.


	12. Chapter 12: Whispering Raindrops

**Author's Note:** Hi, I'm back again with the new Chapter! I think that the plot has thickened somewhat. Or is it going too slowly? If you want change, then it's fairly easy to do. Just click the blue button and tell me your opinions. Trust me, I want to know!

Shameless, rambling pleas for reviews aside (thank-you so much to those people who have done so already :D), let's remember what happened last time. So, let us rejoice, for S's beloved Nii-chan has returned (that was a weird sentence O-0)! And that's right - it's L! And yes, I know, this storyline's probably been done before. I wanted to approach a slightly different angle upon contemplating ideas for this story, but the idea refused to get out of my head and so I decided to just take a risk and go for it. I can't exactly abandon it now. And there are of course other factors in the equation! Let us journey onwards, dear readers (and there's another weird one! Has somebody tampered with my chocolate today?), and uncover more secrets and unanswered questions... and just where does Beyond Birthday reoccur...?

Hope you enjoy it! :D

Oh, and I don't own _Death Note_ (if I did, a very-much-alive BB would be constantly walking around in jam/blood-stained attire and no-one would raise an eyebrow, L and Light would be _very much_ an item, and a mysterious incident would occur, causing Misa to mysteriously dissapear forever... sorry, Misa Misa fans) :/

* * *

**CHAPTER TWELVE; WHISPERING RAINDROPS**

MELLO'S POV

Just _what_ was up with Matt today?

Mello couldn't help but ask himself this question as he lounged listlessly on his bunk-bed, trying to calm himself down - he was so nervous and excited, he felt like he would explode. Maybe a visit from L would put S back in her place! He fidgeted, struggling to get comfortable, trying to distract himself from L's sudden appearance by thinking of his best friend. What had Matt meant when he had speculated about L and S's connection? Mello closed his eyes, reaching instinctively for another chocolate bar. He planned to kick his capable mind into action.

L and S... L and S... both letters, both seemingly anonymous to the outside world. Both concealed themselves, and concealed themselves well... but - that was it! It wasn't just a link, it was two! the only way S _could_ have hidden herself, and hidden herself so extraordinarily well (what better place than Wammy's House?) was to seek the guidance of L. He probably convinced or influenced her to rechristen herself as a single letter. She had possibly studied under L as his student, as much as Mello loathed to admit it. How else could she have got such a high score on the Intelligence Test? Even Near had never achieved top marks...

L and S, L and S, L and S - the letters buzzed around his head until he felt dizzied by the possibilities. What had S done that all other Wammy's students hadn't? What intellectual privelleges had she recieved? What different places had she seen? And Mello didn't just mean that in geographical terms - many Wammy's students embarked on the trips set up by the extra-curricular gatherings because they would be going to places where they could test out their aliases.

But S... she may have gone right into the very core of secret organizations, been allowed access to classified information that even Matt couldn't hack into (well, not yet. Maybe he'd get back to it once he'd stopped watching that goddamn anime _Kuro_, or whatever the hell S had called it). But... but what hurt the most was that L had practically betrayed the entire Wammy's House without any of the residents batting so much as an eyelid.

_I honestly don't **care** if I'm just being used, L, _Mello told his mentor in his head, _because you treat us mostly the same, except for the rankings. We grow up at Wammy's, our abilities are regularly tested and applied, we all fight for status and grow strong_... He shook his hair frustratedly, making the shining strands of blonde fall in-front of his eyes. _I don't care if I'm being used because at least you're giving me a chance to prove myself_, he continued._ They picked me for Wammy's! They obviously still consider me a candidate for L's succession! But now there's -_

-_S_. S had been given special treatment for no particular reason? How was that a fair competition?

A stab of anger pierced through Mello and soured his attractive features. No. This wasn't fair. S took everything from _everybody_ and never gave anything in return. And she didn't even tell anyone about it! His hands gripped onto his bedsheets, compressing the fabric into a tight ball. He would confront S... or try to gather information from a tight-lipped L - no! He wouldn't pull an S and be sly or backhanded about it. He would ask his mentor outright!

He clambered down the ladder of the bunk-bed and hurtled out of the room in a frenzy of righteousness - instinctively flicking his hair as he ran through the open doorway and turned a corner..

* * *

NEAR'S POV

Near sped back from the lake, not used to so much excercise. By the time he had reached the old picnic bench, he was coughing and spluttering rather alarmingly. He bent double, breathing heavily. When he had somewhat recovered, he drew up to his full height once more - noticing someone out of the corner of his eye in the process.

It was S, lazily sprawled out on the long grass in need of cutting, her blonde hair spread around her face in a shaggy, straw-like imitation of a halo. Her eyes were half-closed - she was clearly enjoying the brief spell of sunshine.

On sheer impulse, Near ignored his innate thoughts of pretending he hadn't noticed her, deciding to walk over to instead. As he moved closer, S's eyes snapped open, their pupils darting from side to side.

She let out a gasp, which she quickly stifled. "Oh, it's just you, Near," she drawled, one eyebrow quirking upwards - she was obviously trying to cover up her earlier moment of paranoia. "Been down to the lake, then?" she enquired, eyeing his feet - he looked down to follow her gaze, and realised just how much dirt now clung between his toes. _No wonder L doesn't go outside much_, he thought.

Near knew that S had replaced him as Number One. He knew that she had taken everything from him, and hadn't even apologised yet... but... he just couldn't bring himself to despise needed help, and she was L's biological sister - she couldn't help having a little leg-up from her brother to kick-start her journey through the world of Wammy's House.

And now Near was close up...

...he could see it. That little _twitch_ in her fingers every now and again - like something had triggered a nervous reaction. She looked relaxed, lying there on the daisy-strewn grass - but inside she was a wreck.

He awkwardly crouched down next to her, setting aside his messenger-bag as her capable fingers deftly made daisy chains. They sat there in a relatively comfortable silence, until S finally sat up from her place on the grassy floor, her hypnotic eyes flickering in the sunlight. "Near," she began. "I - I..." she broke off, looking away.

Near was reluctant to press the subject, but understood that S wanted to say something that would only be said if he made it clear that he was ready and listening. He nodded expectantly, and S cleared her throat roughly before continuing. "I... I guess I just wanted to apologise," she mumbled. "I know you were at the top spot for a very long time. My Intelligence Test results were probably an elaborate _fluke_, anyway..." She sighed, hanging her head, milk-white cheeks heating up.

Near tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He didn't want pity. All he wanted was to earn and reclaim his rightful place as Number One successor of L once more. But... She was being so _nice_. No-one, not even L, had ever made him feel so _normal_, so _human_. It was like... having a schoolfriend. Someone so utterly ordinary that he could pretend he didn't live in Wammy's House, that he wasn't damaged, that he was a social creature. But of course, none of that was true. S was one of the strangest people he had ever met. They were both hopeless cases, and there was no going back from the lives they had now. They could only ever move forward, hoping and praying for the best (not that Near would ever pray - he was self-reliant, only ever needing belief in himself to get by in life; when that was gone, all hope was lost).

S was now looking up at him from behind her lashes, obviously assessing his reaction.

Near sighed, and attempted the impossible. "It's... it's okay, S," he murmured, his voice barely above the volume of a whisper. "There's no point trying to hide who you are - i-intelligence-wise, I mean. You're extremely capable. Someone would've found out at some point." He focused on her facial features, trying to determine her true expression.

She was obviously trying to keep her demeanour neutral - but there was the hint of a tentative smile on her lips. She reached into the depths of the un-cut grass until she'd found what she was looking for. It was a daisy chain she had made earlier on. She held it up, her smile growing more pronounced - but her eyes were glittering mishieviously.

Her hands shot out in a sudden blur of movement, and she placed the daisy chain on Near's head. His eyes grew wide in surprise. "_What the_-" he managed to choke out.

"Let's be friends, okay, Near?" she laughed wickedly. She lightly punched his arm and sprinted away, into the small forest that was close to the East wing of Wammy's.

Near simply watched her go, his eyes still resembling grey marbles. He touched a small, pale hand to his snow-white hair, and it was true; _S had actually reached out and put a daisy chain on his head._

There was no denying it. Nate River had been florally assaulted.

And the most earth-shattering fact was... he'd just let it happen!

* * *

MELLO'S POV

Mello's heart leapt in instinctive delight as L shuffled through the half-open door of the empty corridor.

"Hey, L!" Mello greeted eagerly, knowing that he was going too far but unable to stop himself from doing so, "can we hang out for a bit?"

"...I guess I have some free time to spare," L conceeded. "I have just finished speaking with Roger, and Wammy is currently busy discussing gaming tactics with Matt." Mello resisted the urge to roll his eyes with some difficulty. He hadn't believed it when Matt had come running into their shared dorm, spouting some garbled gibberish about Quillish Wammy being interested in gaming. Now, the fact was as commonplace as L liking sweet things.

"So... how are your grades faring, Mello?" L asked. L always jumped straight to the grades - but if you were patient with him, he would occasionally talk about other things. Mello really wanted to press onto the fact of S being Number One - but maybe L was just avoiding the subject so Mello wouldn't feel bad? Mello almost snorted. He'd never done that before - so why what reason could he possibly have for starting now?

"Oh, my grades are going great, L!" Mello exclaimed nevertheless. "Miss Dean says that my computing skills have increased by twenty percent! But... well, you know. I'm Third now," he continued, as much as it hurt to say those words. "S has joined the elite rankings - in fact, she's surpassed them..."

L put a thumb to his lips, his expression as serious as ever. "Yes, she _has_, hasn't she," he murmured thoughtfully. "She is most _interesting_. I'd like to see how she'd do if she attended the Thursday night Self-Defense classes -"

"-Actually, they've moved them to Monday now, to make room for the Arts session," Mello explained earnestly, eager to show how much he knew about the inner-workings of the school. Because street - or rather, Wammy's - smarts counted, and Near had absolutely none, a fact that Mello often shoved in the younger boy's face.

"I see," L replied, taking the information without any other comment about it. "Tell me, are you comfortable in S's prescence, Mello?" he asked.

Mello was taken slightly aback by the question, but replied as best he could. "Y-Yeah, I suppose. She's just another Wammy's kid. Like all of us."

"That's good to know," L told him, not smiling but his features subtly lighting up. "She is exceedingly intelligent and fairly knowledgable in the ways of the world - but after all, she's just another resident of Wammy's House. I wanted to know if she was being treated the same by everyone here. She needs some stability or-" L stopped mid-flow. Mello was instantly puzzled by L's behaviour. Since when did L become lost for words or break off his sentences?

L cleared his throat, snapping Mello out of his thoughts. "I apologise, Mello. I must attend to something. I've been putting it off for far too long." Mello's confusion increased. What in the world did L mean?

Without another word, L turned and left the corridor, uncharacteristically stepping outside of the orphanage and into the sunlight.

Mello did not follow. Even he knew that you had to keep your distance from the brilliant detective. L liked to be alone, that much was obvious.

* * *

L'S POV

L _hated_ acting so objectively about his own sister. His own cold, apathetic words - words delivered in such a tepid, _bored_ tone - were running through his mind over and over again.

But... how else could he have acted? Mello obviously hadn't painstakingly pieced together that S and himself were related. That they had shared a childhood, a history, a world of secrets...

Well, at least not yet. And that "not yet" unsettled L far more than he liked to admit.

He knew where she'd be - outside the orphanage, away from the other students, relishing in the quiet solitude. But he needed to disrupt her time of reflection. They had to discuss what would happen next. He didn't want to think about it, but there was noother way. And S decided a say in it, too.

He let out a humourless laugh. Even now, he was repressing thoughts of his sister's true name. He'd stopped himself from saying it out loud for years, now - it seemed that his mind had followed suit. He couldn't help speculating about whether S had done the same. He winced as a brief stab of sadness pierced him - the poor girl couldn't even say her own name without the fear of... of... he shook his head. He was a detective who regularly solved horrific crimes, and he was fully aware of the terrible things that occured every single day. It still didn't mean that he wanted to associate them with his own sister.

And there she was - a blonde adolescent, wandering around in a small patch of wildflowers, occasionally picking some, occasionally trampling on others. Her boots had been discarded, and now rested near a gnarled and twisted tree. Her eyes shone with delight whenever the sun enveloped the little clearing.

After quietly observing his beloved younger sibling for a short while, L padded over, still resolutely barefoot despite the change in environment. S turned to look up at him, an amused smirk on her face, her beautiful green eyes glittering.

They stood there in silence, drinking in the sight of each other, wanting to approach each other further but not wanting to break the fragile spell, the thinly-spun enchantment.

There was a deep rumble of thunder as the air rapidly grew extremely hot and humid. Spots of water appeared on their faces, until little by little, it became a downpour. the sounds of nature grew into the rawest, most sublime symphony.

"Nii-chan," she breathed, breaking the spell of silence. The sudden rain had plastered her blonde hair to the sides of her face, and her clothing was soaked through. She looked innocent; fresh-faced; young.

"Swamp Eyes," L whispered back. It wasn't particularly in acknowledgement of her. It was just that he couldn't say anything else. His whole world was being engulfed, _dominated_ by those shining orbs of emerald. S laughed shakily before sprinting over to him, her bare feet making splashing noises as they made imprints in the muddy, watery ground.

L laughed, finally a carefree sound, cherishing the sight of her happy expression. She threw her arms around him, holding on tightly as if she never wanted to let go. L reciprocated her actions, never wanting to be parted from his little sister ever again. He was so happy... he could stay for ever in the same pose, never letting go of the remarkable teen in his arms...

...but sadness still managed to eclipse his heart.

It was just like their frantic embrace all those years ago.

When he said he'd be leaving.

When he'd promised he'd come back.

* * *

MATT'S POV

Matt didn't do homework when he could easily avoid it.

That was the sacred Mail Jeevas rule.

But honestly... he was really curious about L and S's connection. This was something that he really didn't mind doing. But first, he needed to think. He hadn't been able to find Mello in their room, so decided to claim some time for himself.

Wandering in the woods was one of his favourite pastimes when he was younger. When he was _really_ young, it felt like it could go on forever and ever. He'd always wanted to be an explorer and discover far-off lands. The dream died when he watched the countless horror movies Mello owned about people getting lost in the woods and... well, let's just say some pretty crazy shit happened in the woods, movie-wise.

He now found comfort in data and video games. You could do whatever the hell you wanted. If you died, you'd respawn or you could easily reset the program. You could bring the dead back to life...

..._No, Matt, this isn't what you're supposed to be thinking about_, he told himself as he lifted up his goggles to scrub furiously at his eyes. _Mom and Dad are gone and they're not coming back. Not ever. So start thinking about something else before you get in a state..._

A sudden drop of water landed on his now-repositioned goggles. Matt smiled. He liked the rain. Sure, when it got on his goggles it was annoying, but it sometimes felt like the world was being washed clean and renewing itself once more. He had heard the thunder, and knew there wasa lot of rain coming his wa,y but didn't really feel like turning back. It was still warm and pleasant.

He was getting close to a clearing he enjoyed sitting in. It was a place where he could hide and avoid doing homework on a warm afternoon. Sometimes Mello would tag along, and they would talk about crap that didn't even matter - and Mello would let go and stop being so _serious_. Those times were the absolute best.

He was about to enter the clearing, when he noticed the two people there.

It was raining rather steadily now, and L's hair was dissolving into a black, shaggy mane instead of a mass of soft spikes. S's hair was plastered to the sides of her face. Her expression was one of joy and understanding.

Matt could only just make out what she said. "Nii-chan."

Nii-chan.

_Nii-chan_.

Big Brother.

So they _were_ related, after all. Even though Matt had had an inkling about this, he still found it shocking to have his suspicions confirmed so suddenly. And why had she uttered it in Japanese?

L whispered: "Swamp Eyes."

Matt was puzzled. Swamp Eyes? Like a nickname for her or something?

Swamp Eyes.

Swamp Eyes...

...SWAMP EYES.

S. Was _that_ what it stood for? _Swamp Eyes_? Had Matt just accidentally stumbled upon S's true name?

S ran over to L - and threw her arms around him. Matt stifled a gasp. He'd never seen anything so spontaneous, yet so natural-looking. And... woah, wait a minute. This was... weird. L was actually holding her tighter to himself... Matt had never seen L be so openly and nakedly emotional.

Matt knew L had emotions, but... he looked so - well, _normal_. And human - like his stone heart was melting. Heavy rain was streaming down L's face like tears. Or... could those tears possibly be real?

Matt realised instantly that he has stumbled upon something private; something he should never have seen, heard, or even known about. Hands shaking, Matt scuttled away into the depths of the small forest as quietly as he possibly could, replaying the events over and over again in his mind.

L was... human.

L was real...

...And from the look on his face as he'd held S close, he was filled with a bittersweet happiness that Matt could barely comprehend.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I think I'm going to leave it there for this Chapter! My apologies if L seemed OOC. So, we had more insight into what made the Wammy's boys (including L) tick. And aw, poor Near - he was florally assualted! I don't like Near in the Death Note series, but since writing this Chapter, I'm starting to warm to him. No Beyond this Chapter, I promise they'll be some of him in the Chapters to come, he's about to become quite a prominent character :) As I've said before - love ya, B! Please review, I need some guidance. Am I going off-track? Have I been writing the characters too OOC? Are my descriptions a little weak? I kind of need to know :/

As always, thank-you so much for reading, and I'll see you next Chapter! :D


	13. Chapter 13: Tick, Tock

**Author's Note:** Hi guys, it's me, back from planet... uh, I'm not even sure where I'm from O-0 I'm so, so very sorry about the lateness of this update. I do apologise! It's been hard to think of where my story is truly going, but I'm not giving up! Seriously, writer's block was hitting me hard with this one, so I'm so sorry if this isn't up to scratch! And I know, you're probably sick to _death_ of me badgering you about it by now, but I really need some feeback! Please! If you could! Thank-you! :)

Ooooh, spoooky... It's Chapter 13, everyone! :0 Oh, and by the way, I sincerely apologise (more apologies! You _do_ deserve them though :D) for the sickening sweetness from the last Chapter! Honestly, though, if you want change, all you have to do is ask and I can compromise on something and come to an agreement with you! Didn't have much time to edit this one, by the way, and I'm still without a beta, but I think I'm doing okay (point me out if I'm wrong on the grammar sides of tihngs as well as the story, honestly, I really won't mind :))

Chapter 13. Off we go, then :D

* * *

**CHAPTER 13; TICK, TOCK**

MATT'S POV

L... was somebody's older brother?

As in... _big brother_?

It was such a normal concept, even for the teenage red-head who was growing up in an orphanage, that it was extremely hard to comprehend. How could anyone recognise L as a... well, a _family man_?

Even if it was true, then why had he left S behind? Why had S arrived at Wammy's as a cynical, broken young girl? Why had the two geniuses gone their seperate ways? And why did L prefer to live apart from S when he clearly loved his sibling?

Something stirred inside Matt. Even though he felt like he shouldn't know about these things, he also had a strong gut feeling that he should confront one of the pair. He sighed, shaking his fiery hair like a wet dog would as he entered his dormitory. Mello stood in the doorway, his brow furrowed and a thoughtful frown on his face. "What's up, Mel?" Matt asked.

"N-nothing..." Mello replied. Matt was dubious about the quality and accuracy of his best friend's reply. He waited, knowing that Mello would own up sooner or later.

"W-well..." Mello began once more. "It's... it's just L, I suppose. He's been acting kind of _weird_. Well... weirder than usual. He looks really troubled and preoccupied. I mean, why would he be? He's just finished one of his biggest cases yet! The whole gang behind it is now behind bars! And..." Mello let out an exasperated huff, massaging his temples, "...he talks about S. _A lot_. You can tell he's interested by her, he said so himself. I think those two are connected, somehow... and he just left me mid-conversation! When has he _ever_ done that? And what's even stranger is that he went outside! Of his own accord! Something's missing, here..."

A hint of a smile tugged at Matt's lips. He should have expected nothing less from his exceedingly-intelligent friend. Mello had pretty much all the pieces of the puzzle. "Yeah," Matt replied, leaning against the white-washed wall next to the blonde boy, "I've been thinking about all this, too. And... I saw something today... Y'know, in the woods..." he tailed off. Should he really tell Mello? Would he be invading L and S's privacy by doing so? But... he told Mello _everything_, no matter what. He hadn't told Mello what was on his mind because he'd thought he was being stupid, but Mello shared his thoughts, and they'd also been confirmed. And he couldn't stop now that he'd already started telling him.

"L and S met up in the woods," Matt elaborated cautiously. "They... looked like they knew each other really well. I think they're related."

* * *

MELLO'S POV

Mello let out an involountary snort. "_Related_? Seriously?" he asked Matt. "How did you come to that conclusion?"

"Somebody's got their old sceptisism back," Matt casually shot back, smiling a little. "Come on, _honestly_. Hear me out! And I _know_, the odds aren't exactly in my theory's favour, but there's always a chance it could be true. They don't look alike, but they're both intelligent, they're affectionate towards each other, and... she calls him her Nii-chan."

Mello's capable mind ran through all the dialects he had studied throughout his time spent as a Wammy's kid. _Japanese. Onii-chan, occasionally abbreviated as Nii-chan._

Nii-chan...

...older brother.

He snapped out of his daze, straightening up and punching Matt on the arm. "Why the hell didn't you tell me this _before_, idiot!" he growled. "That was probably the most important piece of info you could give me!"

An image of S popped into the blonde's mind... S - she was possibly the kin of L himself?

The S in his mind winked in that annoying, exaggerated way of hers, before turning away and dissapearing from his sight, her blonde hair swishing behind her. No, she would never tell. There was no way that Mello could confront her, ask her about the famous detective L and their shared ties. He'd never get a straight answer out of her.

And she'd most likely punch him.

"What do we do about this, Matt?" Mello murmured thoughtfully.

"I'm not really sure, to be honest," Matt replied, a pensive expression on his face. "I mean, _woah_... this is really _huge_. L kind of has a family! They must've grown up together! She's probably been to places we've never even heard of, and that's saying something..."

* * *

NEAR'S POV

Why did she despise herself?

That much was apparent. S, sister of L, hated her own guts. Oh, she smiled and she winked and she acted like she was the most important person in a room, sometimes - but that was all just a ploy to cover up insecurities of monstrous proportions.

Near considered this simple fact as he sat on his clinically-white bed, fateful daisy-chain in hand. He had no real desire to return to his classess. Roger wouldn't have expected the four successors (there were four of them now... oh, how the time flew. And twisted. And _changed_ beyond imagination) to continue with their education for the day anyway, not now L had temporarily returned to Wammy's House.

But for what reason?

His small, pale body stiffened. He heard footsteps, and the subtle yet distinguishable sound of water dripping onto the floorboards outside of his dormitory. They were different to L's - Near had memorised everything about L, collated every memory of him to aid him in his current, self-assigned "case" revolving around L and S. So... was it...?

The footsteps faltered.

Heavy, laboured breathing.

A soft, high-pitched moan of apparent distress.

Sickening _thud_.

_Silence_.

* * *

Near, forgetting himself and his reputation, uncharacteristically dashed over to his door and opened it with a growing sense of unease.

His eyes immeadiately fixed themselves upon the girl.

S lay crumpled on the floor, her green eyes dull and remote. Near crouched down, unsure of what he should do in the current situation they were both in.

"N-Near..." S croaked. "Y-you should just leave m-me be..." Her frighteningly-dead eyes welled up with tears, though her face remained coldly expressionless. "I r-really, _really_ don't want to have to h-hurt you..."

An unexplained shot of fear blazed through Near's cool, logical heart. Like... like she was a different being... like he should be naturally afraid of the blonde-haired girl who lay struggling on the floor in front of him. This further clouded his briliant, antisocial mind. Tears from her emotionless eyes dripped onto the floor. Near went against his gut feeling, his instinctive, crippling urge to flee and grabbed her trembling hand.

He almost shuddered and recoiled. She was... so... so _cold_...

"J-Just _go_," S weakly hissed, her eyes suddenly burning intensely, her old strength of will seeming to partially return. "There's nothing you can do that would make a difference. Go get L, or W-Wammy,"she ordered. "And I know you don't want to, so you can let go of my freaking hand, now. I'm not gonna _die_." She smirked, her eyes still holding that horribly-fascinating dead look, but her mouth quirking upwards in that oh-so-familliar and condescending manner.

Near tried to get up from his place on the floor, to follow her commands, but his eyes wouldn't, no _couldn't_, leave her face. He had never been so curious about a human being in his life, not ever... because... at this particular moment in time, S didn't appear to be completely human.

"Just GO, Near!" S yelled suddenly, beginning to panic. "Before... Before I see them..." she fixed her eyes upon the empty space directly above his head, just as she had done a few days ago with Matt in Near's place.

S then screwed her eyes shut, letting out a desperate, agonised scream.

"_Numbers_!"

* * *

S'S POV

_So... much... pain_.

Her thoughts were as laboured as her breathing, as her struggling, aching eyes. Her sight was shifting, twisting, even fading at times. There were now black edges at the corners of her compromised vision. She screwed her eyes shut, gritting her teeth, forcing herself to fight a losing battle. She was passing out, she supposed...

...but no. That wasn't _nearly_ accurate enough. She was merely being dragged down...

...Down into the underworld. Down into her nightmares. Down into a realm where no mortal human was meant to reach.

Except one had once before. And it had driven him insane.

* * *

MELLO'S POV

Mello jumped as a shout rang out from within the corridors of the boy's dormitories.

"What is it, Mel?" Matt asked, looking up from his gaming magazine (just about the only thing anyone could get him to read).

"I-I think I heard S," Mello explained uncertainly, taking his chocolate bar away from his lips. "She shouted something I couldn't quite catch." He felt a guilty sensation in the pit of his stomach, because he finally understood. S hadn't been given any special treatment, not _really_. It was becoming more and more apparent to the feisty blonde boy that she was L's sister, or the two at least shared a genuine connection. Mello wondered what it would be like without Matt in his life, yet still knowing about him, yearning for his best friend's company... it would, quite simply, be a living hell.

Both of them had unbalanced personalities. Both of them seemed to be incomplete, somehow. Maybe, just maybe, they'd bring each other to life.

_I - I just can't_, Mello admitted as he stood up, brushed himself off and followed his roommate through their door to the scene of the disturbance. _I just can't make myself hate that girl. Because no matter how annoying she can be, it wasn't her fault how she was raised._

* * *

Mello and Matt's footsteps skittered to a halt as they fixed their eyes upon the scene in front of them. A seemingly-uncertain Near was crouched on the floor, gingerly holding onto S's paper-white hand. S's eyes were closed. She appeared to be unconscious, and uncomfortable in her dreaming state.

Mello crouched next to his white-haired adversary, shocked by the unexpected scene he was witnessing. Matt on the other hand, snapped into action almost immeadiately. "I'm going to find Roger... and maybe L," he told them both. And with that, he fled purposefully away, boots making a dull _clunk_ as they collided with the floorboards.

"What the hell happened to S?" Mello murmured, his voice barely above the volume of a whisper.

"She was walking through this corridor," Near rapidly responded. "She just - collapsed. I didn't know what to do about it. She told me to go and fetch L or Wammy..."

"Well, why _didn't_ you, then, you emotionless little brat!" Mello snapped. "She's obviously not well. How many times as she collapsed over these past few days?"

A pale, ghostly red colour appeared on Near's snow-white cheeks. His unsettling eyes were flashing, but his tone of voice remained quiet and reserved. "You're one to talk," Near shot back casually, as if he couldn't care less, but Mello could not forget the look in his enemy's eyes.

Mello felt the horribly-familliar stirrings of guilt, but he pushed the negative feeling down, remembering how he had ignored S when she was in need of a few friends to get on with her life. He was not going to wallow in self-pity, nor silently ask for forgiveness, not when she was in such state. The one thing he could do for now was to simply be there for her. They would sort out their differences at a later date.

S's eyes flickered, the heavy, rich green orbs hidden behind her lids. Mello stared at those very same lids, attempting to decipher her dreams. _What do you dream of, S_? Mello pondered. _Do you dream of him... your brother? Our mentor? Or are they the same people? Was he your L all along? Or was he ours from the start?_

He knew that L could think, could feel... but not to the extent that he had a younger sister, a dearly _beloved_ younger sister. Who could imagine that? L was... just too _solitary_.

Mello let out an impatient grunt, and checked his black leather wrist-strap watch. It had been a while. When would Matt return with someone who knew how to handle S?

* * *

BEYOND'S POV

_So... much... pain._

_Every inch of him hurt. His life was nothing, **nothing** but a mere writhing mass of agony. But no. This wasn't a life. This was an existence._

_A shameful one._

_All that careful, meticulous planning - gone down the drain, because of Naomi Misora._

_**Misora**._

_His burnt hand clenched into a demented fist, despite his immeadiate, involountary hiss of protest. Women were always so intefrering. They got in the way of plans, they **demanded** your attention. And they were so very, very **boring**._

_A flicker of a creepy smile appeared on his lips. Why, yes, he **had** underestimated that witch, that Misora woman. But she was as mundane as the next female, smart but full of tedious morals and uppity ideals._

_She would be the next on his mental list, one day._

_Someday._

_Yes, women didn't really serve a purpose on this Earth. They gave life, of course, but what good was that when he wanted to see the inevitable death of the world?_

_A thought struck the ticking time-bomb that was Beyond Birthday's sadistically-brilliant mind. Of course, there was always **one** woman. One girl. One female._

_A goddess. A reluctant possessor, born into the life of a Shinigami tied to Earth. She had more **feelings **than he would've preferred - but there was this cold-heartedness about her that he had been ecstatic to witness at the time of their encounter. No - not cold-heartedness. It was more of an inhumanity about her, cold bones, cold soul. Her heart was already becoming ravaged by the clutches of love and devotion, just like Beyond's. And Beyond had been wickedly delighted to discover that they had both been subjected to love - that cruel, sick emotion - by exactly the same person._

_**Miss Lawliet**, Beyond hissed excitedly in his head, **it appears that we have more in common than you could ever comprehend. Such a pretty girl. Such a STRONG girl. I was thinknig too highly of Misora just now. You have always had FAR more inner strength than that silly, silly woman, I could just SENSE it when we first met. It was tangible in the air, like crackling electricity. It was fate.**_

_Beyond Birthday cackled, cackled like a Shinigami should. It was not a mere practiced laugh - it was evil. Sadisitic and evil. And ALL him._

**_He will hurt you, somehow - or you will eventually succumb to your honourable birthright_**_, he told the curiously red-eyed girl in his head once he had finished laughing. _**_And we WILL meet again, someday._**_ He grinned, holding up a photograph of a young girl. She was eleven years old, with a thin, pale, serious face. She was smiling warily, dressed in black jeans and a green tank top._

_**I have ways of finding you, if you have trouble finding me, so don't you worry your pretty blonde head about it. So, you're in Japan right now... nice for some, isn't it? Such a lucky girl. Such a SPOILED girl.** He chuckled nastily, giving a quick glance towards his handcuffs, which were currently lying in the corner of his cell. They had been easily discarded.** But I guess you have a right to enjoy it while it lasts...**_

_He sighed, happier than he had been a long, long time. **I won't give up on you. You're out there, in that world of ours, enjoing the delights of life and its many, many uplifiting illusions. But you will come crashing back down to where you belong.**_

_**And I will be waiting, Miss Lawliet.**_

_He grinned madly, showing his yellowing teeth. _

_Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock._

* * *

**Author's Note:** YESSSSS! I finished Chapter Thirteen! I'm very happy now! *waves happy-face flag enthusiastically*

How does he know L's second name... It WILL be revealed, I _promise_ you! XD Honestly, I'm not sure about this Chapter, but the last part was _fun_ *grins like a madwoman*, so when I was struggling to finally name this Chapter, _Tick, Tock_ just had to be the answer!

Please, tell me what you thought! Were any of the characters OOC? Did I get Beyond's character right? I need guidance, honestly, I'm not sure about the vibe of this whole piece.

I'm not the best writer in the world (_duh_, obviously) so if someone could be lovely and give me some feedback, that would be amazing! Thank-you so much for reading, and I'll see you next time! :D


	14. Chapter 14: Conflict

**Author's Note:** YES! A review! (yes, I'm excited about one review, don't judge me). Of course, I write _Swamp Eyes_ because I enjoy to do so, but it's nice to know that other people are eager for it to continue. Thank-you to all of my reviewers so far!

So, getting back to the point, I hope everyone realised that big chunks of itallic are flash-backs. S is in her teens now. Beyond's Point Of View from the last Chapter took place when S was just eleven years old. Still, it was probably obvious to a lot of you, since I've done it before. But even I get confused with my own writing sometimes, so I thought I may as well highlight that fact.

I think there's quite a powerful L's Point Of View in this particular Chapter. There isn't much dialogue so I apologise if I'm boring you in the process, but I thought you'd all like some more insight into how L feels about S.

Sooo... Chapter 14. Away we go, and please don't forget to review so you can help with the creative process!

* * *

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN; CONFLICT**

MELLO'S POV

She looked so weak.

So... fragile. How could he have possibly thought of her as a threat before?

Her dreams has ceased to trouble her. Now, she was cold. Now, she was silent. Now, she looked not asleep but simply dead, dead and soulless.

And - _where the hell was Matt_?

After some time, the red-head finally appeared with Wammy, Roger and - and _L_ in tow.

"Bloody hell, Matt you didn't have to fetch them all!" Mello snapped, before settling his eyes back on S.

"That wasn't the plan originally! It took _ages_ to find them, and they happened to be all together, it wasn't my fault," Matt explained, a touch of hurt in his eyes. He shook head as if to clear it. "_Anyway_, getting back to the point, how's S holding up?"

"Uh... she's..." Mello wasn't quite sure how to respond. She wasn't squirming in her unconcious state anymore - that had been disturbing and worrying. But though she was breathing - Mello had made sure to check _several_ times because of just how lifeless she now appeared - she still had that dead look about her. It was unnatural, dare he say it, _creepy_.

He suddenly remembered that S's possible brother, L, was also present. He turned to face him, blue eyes uneasy yet curious.

* * *

L'S POV

Why can't he ever make it all go away?

S looked more ethereal than ever, her skin milk-white and her golden hair tousled. And even though her eyes were closed, they were still beautiful and mysterious, locked away from a harsh reality by perfect lids and diamond-encrusted eyelashes. But those glittering diamonds were, without a doubt, frightened, exhausted tears.

His little sister was crying.

And he could never, _ever_ make this dark part of her life stop.

Throughout his entire existence, coming and going, S most likely alongside him for her first few years, he had always made sure to visit Wammy's House. Because Wammy's was home, no matter which way you looked at it. But even when S was safe at Wammy's, her sort-of-home, the place where everything was supposed to be okay, she could not stop the unknown.

The insomnia. The paranoia. The endless, endless _numbers_. Every mention of those wretched numbers sent a knife hurtling through L Lawliet's chest - not that he'd ever tell his younger sibling such a thing. Such a heavy burden was not meant to be carried completely alone, and so he let her speak of the numbers and how they frightened her, took control of her life. Even so, he knew that S carefully hid things from him, to spare him the inevitable emotional pain. He really, really wished she wouldn't. He was her _big brother_, for god's sake! He was meant to protect her, take care of her! He would willingly push all of his emotions aside if it helped her.

All he'd ever wanted was for her to have an ordinary life - well, as ordinary as a life spent as a Wammy's girl or boy could get. But S had been born with Shinigami eyes, and no-one knew quite why. It was just like the sad and blood-stained case of Beyond Birthday, or Backup. Except L would never let S sink that far into oblivion. NEVER. He would keep her stable when she was falling, let her use him as her prop to hold her up, for her to to spew venom at, to look at with hate-filled eyes until she was in a better place.

Though S had never got that bad. She was actually a sweet-natured girl with a hard, artificial shell that she had created to keep out people intruding on her life. L would never hold her responsible for her actions when she was experiencing an "episode". Still, she wasn't particuarly violent. She just grew tired and frustrated, because she was sick, sick, _sick_ of her ordeal. But over the years, her reactions had grown more erratic, and she was slowly inching further off the infamous "rails". Her body and mind couldn't take it for much longer, L could just _sense_ it in her.

L secretly feared that the powerful, creeping darkness would eventually consume his little girl. Because he thought of her that way - his little girl. There was a subsantial age-gap between the two siblings, and L had had a hand in bringing her up from almost day one. It was painful to see her innocence begin to fade, to see her beautiful eyes - Swamp Eyes; a canvas of colour - grow dull and dead.

L had kept his distance for some time; solving cases, gaining a staggering amount of popularity, especially after the famous defeat of Beyond Birthday in LA. He'd tried to keep S in school, a _normal school_ for once - away from her own brother and his dangerous, challenging profession. But an accident in-school had inevitably spelled BIG trouble for S. L had then decided that the best place for her was at Wammy's.

And yet _still_ he was leaving her behind. His own sister, his kin. And as she lay there on the floor, helpless and fragile, L could not help but want to scoop her up and take her away from her, to freely be with her once more. It was, of course, impossible. And no matter how far they ran, S's Shinigami abilities could never be kept at bay for long.

So it was better that he left her side - rather than being risked torn from it. He only shook her up, distracted her, stopped her from seeing her future as an ordinary inidividual.

However... He had built up a barrier of apathy against the world, carefully cultivated over the years and put to good use, but such love did not simply _fade_.

S was suffering. And it was killing him.

* * *

NEAR'S POV

Near stared at L, his stoic eyes ambivalent.

There was so much _hurt_ in his mentor's face - Near just couldn't comprehend it. But there was also knowledge there. This had happened before; and both L and S were sick to death of it.

L knelt down in-between Near and Mello, reaching out a thin, pale hand as if to brush a stray strand of hair from his sister's face. His hand retreated before it could touch the icy planes of her face.

Near...couldn't believe it. This was actually becoming hard to watch. _Huh_. He had more emtion than he'd given himself credit for.

Of course when his supposed "childhood" ended, he would have to lock those memories away - make sure that they never saw the light ove day ever again. Because he would not make the same mistake (no matter how refreshing it was to see L showing signs of devotion and sacrifical love, Near could only logically label it as a failure on the famous detective's part) that L had already made; L had formed attachments that went far past Wammy. This was caring for someone more vulnerable than yourself, no, _happily_ and _gladly_ accepting the chore of caring for someone. Seeing them as your equal despite an age gap, yet still protecting them from others if they truly are weaker than yourself.

Near could _never_ let that happen. And in that moment, Nate River was _glad_ that he didn't have a sibling.

* * *

S'S POV

_Blood... Blood..._

_Blood up the walls. Blood on the ceilling. Blood EVERYWHERE._

_Blood on her **hands**._

_Blood on her **face**._

_Blood... everywhere._

_Was this all in her head? The product of a sick dream?_

_NO. This was NOT a hallucination. It couldn't be. It was so real. SO FREAKING REAL. There was no way out of this mess._

_Her inner-Shinigami laughed nastily. **No Nii-chan to save you, now. You're all on your own, little girl. You actually THOUGHT you could be NORMAL? Don't embarrass yourself any further.** S swayed on the spot, feeling the scarlet essence trickle down from her hair to the back of her neck._

_**You dirty little Shinigami freak... You don't deserve to live. I gave you power, I gave you astonishing inner-strength. Do you really think you'd be so stunning, so undeniably PRETTY without me? Do you really think that without my prescence, your brother would still never lose interest in his dull, boring hybrid girl?**_

_S gulped, tears forming in her shining green eyes, unable to stop herself from listening to the voice that so cruelly goaded her from inside her own head. She was so utterly alone - yet somehow, NOT. She was talking to herself, tearing scraps out of her own dignity and self-respect._

_It was all over._

_What - What had she done?_

_CRASH._

_The door swung on its hinges, violently colliding with the wall next to it. There were no screams - just hushed, urgent voices. A hand was pressed on her shoulder._

_"I - I don't believe it," a voice murmured. "S. You're - You're actually here." The woman named Jennifer Bright took her elegant hand off S's shoulder, drawing herself up to full height before getting down to business._

_"What happened, S?" Jennie fired briskly. "Why are you covered in blood?"_

_"Why is your stupid, uptight nose poking into MY business, hussie?" S shot back before she could stop herself - because she literally **couldn't** stop herself. Someone was moving her mouth FOR her. B-But... that was **impossible**..._

_Fear slowly traced its icy finger down S's spine._

_"Because you've broken into a SCHOOL, S!" Jennie spat, her eyes flashing. "It's four in the morning, three windows have been smashed and YOU'RE the only one on-site! How DARE you think yourself above the law, you insolent, spoilt brat! SHOW SOME RESPECT AND START THINKING OF OTHERS, FOR ONCE! What, so you thought just because your brother was important, you could do whatever the heck you pleased? Well, you'd better deflate that head of yours and come with me this INSTANT! Your delinquent ways end HERE, do you understand me, S?"_

_"No, I DON'T understand," S - but not S - answered back defiantly, her teeth beginning to chatter as trembles racked her body. "Why don't you get the hell out of here? I don't want you here, and you should never, **ever** forget that I can MAKE YOU DISSAPEAR."_

_Miss Bright's eyes widened in shock. The Shinigami-girl in front of her lifted her chin and smirked nastily. The blonde put her mouth close to Jennie's ear, before whispering the words: "**Don't. Fuck. With. Me.**"_

_Jennie's complexion turned an unpleasant mixture of white and green. "C-C-Cuff her," she whispered to the others, who were patiently waiting to recieve orders._

_S regained her senses long enough to realise the consequences of her actions - her other side was beginning to dominate her... Jennie thought she was a delinquent... they were treating her like a criminal. And not to mention that her own older brother... was L himself. She choked out a weak sob as she held out her thin, pale hands to be locked away, willing to co-operate. And she STILL couldn't stop shaking, and she was covered in blood, and she had no recollection of how she had entered the school premises in the first place, and she missed her big brother, and she was desperately frightened of what the fututre may hold, and..._

_...well, she just really, **really** needed a hug right now._

_Jennie roughly seized her left arm, slamming the handcuffs on before triumphantly smiling, one perfect, pencilled eyebrow raising as if she was trying to imitate the trembling girl in front of her, who was a ghost, a shell, a mere shadow of her former cocky self._

_"Death threats don't get you **anywhere** at all, sweetie," Jennie muttered, before dragging a miserable S out into the crisp night air._

* * *

With a shuddering sob, S awoke from her recollection.

"The - the incident," she rasped, for that was what it was always mentioned as.

Cool, calming hands pushed her back down. S closed her eyes, tears streaking down her cheeks. She recognised those hands.

"Shh, S, just calm down," L whispered in his conforting but logical voice. "You passed out, but you're fine now. The boys helped me move you, along with Wammy and Roger." S opened her eyes once more, turning her head a little to gaze meekly at "the boys". Mello on his feet, chewing on a chocolate bar with obvious unease as he witnessed the scene before him. Matt was sat on a plastic chair, scarlet DS in hand but his eyes returning S's stare. Near was crouched on the floor - _with a daisy chain held in his small hands_.

Matt smiled kindly, before shoving his red DS into his pocket for later. "You scared the crap out of us, S," he informed her, and S grinned wickedly back, some of her fiery personality beginning to return.

"Why am I in the hospital wing?" she asked her brother, her eyes returning to her beloved Onii-chan. He smiled a little - he looked so l_ovely_ when he smiled - and ran his hand through the mass of crow-black spikes that was L Lawliet's hair. And - had she just imagined it? Was his hand really trembling?

"You passed out," he repeated. "What were we going to do, just leave you there on the floor?" S nodded and smiled in silent gratitude, before redirecting her attention the the Wammy's boys once more.

Mello smiled shyly, almost as if he was guilty of something. "Uh... hi, S," he greeted rather awkwardly. S smiled back, her hand raised in a half-wave and her eyes parkling. Was Mello on the verge of forgiving her. This was just too good to be true...

And then there was Near. Oh, Near... the expression he had worn with the daisy chain on his head had been utterly priceless. The picture still fresh in her mind, S winked at him before whispering, "Hello, Near."

To her great surprise, Near smiled a little back - but S would have missed it if she hadn't been observing him so avidly.

A hand was placed on her shoulder. S blinked in surprise. L was gripping her shoulder, and the she knew - this was L's way of hugging her while everyone else was still around. S would have like a real hug, but this close contact with her Nii-chan meant the world to her.

"Please excuse me, S, but I have some urgent business to attend to," L told her, his classic "L" expression - or more accurately, a mask - fixed firmly in place. S nodded, heart squeezing painfully as he turned to leave.

Despite her earlier loss of conciousness, there were no numbers floating above the heads of her loved ones - for now, anyway.

She felt shame twist her stomach; these were truly her loved ones - and she had to protect them at all costs.

But she didn't want to have to tell them that she was losing; that the inherent Shinigami traits buried deep within her were winning her the battle.

She fought back hysterical sobs, trying to appear normal to the outside world. How much longer could she hold on?

* * *

**Author's Note:** I guess I'll leave it there, this time :D What did you think? I know, there wasn't much dialogue in this one, but I hope you enjoyed the descriptions and the new insights. So, we now know how Jennie and S met up again after Wammy's - but we STILL don't know how S got drenched in blood! I called this Chapter Conflict because of S's concealed inner struggle, and also because of S's heated exchange with Jennie.

The plot is about to hot up - and does anyone want to know S's real name? Because it isn't Swamp Eyes! We're getting closer and closer to that revelation.

Thank-you so much for reading, and I'll see you next time :) Don't forget to rate and review, please!


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